Surprise! I am actually Kate Middleton

Aren't you kind of shocked? Me too. Just to rehash, this blog is 80% about easy healthy eating. This post falls into the other undefinable 20% that we are gambling on together. So back to me being Kate Middleton. Incidentally, this has nothing to do with the "Prince of our Hearts" YM Magazine I recently found stashed away in my childhood closet. It has to do with the rewearing of fancy dresses. 

I also used up those love tarot cards. Oh, and the 24 clues to snag your crush were a total fail.

We are leaving town yet again for a wedding in Louisville. Weddings are fun when you get to leave town and see people who you don't see often, oh, and also when you are not pregnant and can drink the appropriate amount to really enjoy the wedding and dance you ass off. What I HATE about out of town weddings is packing. This problem is easily solved when it is a wedding for a friend of mine. Usually in these cases I bombard my friends H & L with photos of me trying on dresses and trying to pick out shoes from my limited shoe collection and they help guide me or give me the approval that I am seeking and not getting at home. They both live really far away. Depressing. But they put up with me. That's why they are members of the BFC. 

Best Friends Club. Snuggles forever.

This particular wedding is for one of my husband's friends. So I'm depending on him to help me feel out the tone of the events and my appropriate attire. As much as I wish I could just run to the store and pick out a new dress for every event (and I really REALLY do wish this) I have to buy things like tiny bathing suits and baby Toms in every color (thanks D) so I don't really have the budget. I head to the bedroom and turn into Kate Middleton and prepare to rewear.

Unfortunately I am missing the perfect amount of fancy hats to make my dresses like new.

The first dress I try on is a fuchsia strapless DVF party dress I got for H's wedding 4 years ago. It has a full skirt and pockets and is super comfy. I like to think through my wears. It had one hit with my college group, one hit for NYE with a large group of Houston friends, one hit for a wedding with a different group of Houston friends, and the last group standing is S's college group. I pair it with some shoes and walk into the living room ready for some feedback feeling like this: 

Work it.

Response: "what are you doing?" 

RT: trying to figure out what I'm going to wear to the wedding.

Silence

RT: So? 

"I like that dress."

Ok. What did I expect? He likes it. That's fine.

I head back into the bedroom and find another cocktail dress that I bought for my father's 70th birthday in the midst of my good skinnies before I had a baby and after I did a two day protein fast. It zipped, which was a start, but I knew it was a little tight over my chest. I was feeling a little like this:

I didn't wait for a response. I went for it so I could point it out first.

RT: This one's a little tight on my chest, right?  

"Yeah, it looks kind of weird. Also, the fabric is bunchy. And I can see your stomach and like where your belly button is."

silence

RT: Well in real life I would be wearing Spanx and they would make those two things disappear. 

"Oh"

I felt like this:

Usually I would love to feel like Blake Lively, but this is a fail.

Failure and an unprovoked additional response. I head straight back to my bedroom. Maybe the sisterwives have it all figured out. They get to live with other women for the rest of their lives. They never have to ask their husband for advice on proper attire. They just put on their prairie dress and braid their hair and go to town. But really, I miss living with my girlfriends. When you have an awful night where you feel fat in every outfit, you can pick out something better from their closet. When you don't know if your shoes are too boring (probably) or too matchy matchy, they will tell you. When you have the wrong purse for your outfit, they will pick one out for you. They will also make great getting ready to go out mixes that have oukast and britney on them. They will also drink everclear daqueries at home on a Saturday night with you in sweat pants. Shout out JJ. Best Friends' Club.

I try one last dress on and end up with a major idea. Our friends are getting married in August and they are having a 2pm ceremony and a 5pm reception. I could wear two dresses and have time for two totally different looks. This idea really excites me so I put on what would be my "ceremony look" and head back out to the living room. I felt like this, but in a cute dress:

S: "You know the wedding is outside and it is going to be really hot."

RT: this is for the other wedding. I thought I would do an outfit change and wear this to the ceremony and THEN (big reveal) wear a DIFFERENT dress to the reception. Maybe with different hair? 

S: "Ok"

silence

RT: Doesn't that sound fun? 

S: "Sure, if you want to."

This ended the fashion show. I went back to the bedroom, opened my suitcase and threw in about 6 dress options for Saturday night. I'll have time on Thursday and Friday to snag some of the ladies and get their opinions. Because if I think about putting on another outfit and walking into the living room I imagine it going something like this:

And for the reception, I was thinking an understated pale pink...

Yours as ever in the loyalty of the Queen, 

Kate Middleton

- RT