"T" is for Toddlers and Tantrums and Trying to Survive. It is.

"T": it's not just for timeout anymore. Word.

 Remember when you first found out you were pregnant and you couldn't talk about it with anyone who was a real female person so you talked about it with the Internet? (Oh, did I forget to say this is a post for people with lady parts? It is.) When you first get the double pink line, or the cross, or the digital pregnancy message, or your dr's office calls after you go in for a blood test and is like "by the way you are pregnant" (wait, what?) this might be the first step in your relationship with babycenter.com. After surviving my 1st trimester of silence, I was pretty sure that pregnant women didn't ever need to ask the internet questions. And you know how much I love to do that. When you are pregnant internet questions go something like this:

Q: I'm pregnant and I have a cold. Which medicines should I take?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I thought I had a cold. Turns out I had herpes. Go get an STD test.

Q: I'm pregnant and feel like I might be sick. Is this just morning sickness?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I felt sick. It turns out I had cancer. Call your doctor immediately.

Q: I'm pregnant and want to have some coffee. Is that ok?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I had coffee and then my baby had three legs and one nipple. Drink water and only water.

Q: I'm pregnant and accidentally had some alcoholic punch. What should I do?
Internet: OMFG YOU ARE GOING TO HELL AND YOUR BABY IS COMPLETELY F&(#ED!! I'm calling social services.

The Google Devil will eat your unborn child

 Seriously. When it comes to health, the internet is not your friend. You know who is your friend? Your doctor. BUT anyway, before I went off on yet another tangent, we were talking about the center for babies, also know as BabyCenter.com. (Stay out of the chat board things. People are crazy.) They send you these fancy weekly emails when you are preggo talking about how your baby is the size of a Nordic Autumn Fruit (right) and growing fingernails inside of your stomach. Or uterus. Whatever. 

Where does this baby grow??

 What I didn't know when I signed up for these is that they keep going. You get weekly updates about your baby and now I am the lucky recipient of toddler updates. (I know, don't get too jealous.) Ever since L reached 15 months, the theme of most of these emails is tantrums. The timing is spot on. Girlfriend is all about frustrated communication and having an opinion. 

What? The cat doesn't want me to pet it? TO THE FLOOR!!!!

I'm not going to tell you how to fix toddler tantrums. I am in no way qualified to do so. But you know what is an even bigger joke than my upcoming tantrum techniques? The advice babycenter gave me today. 

"My 15 month old, week 4".....When your toddler throws a full-blown screaming fit in the middle of the grocery store, you may want to hide behind the toilet paper display – but rest assured that other parents feel your pain. The most useful response is to take your child out of the store (even if it means leaving a cart full of food behind) and sit with him until he finishes crying. Staying calm and offering lots of hugs and kisses can help. 

The first part makes sense. No toddler in the middle of a full blown tantrum is going to be able to calm down in an overstimulating environment like the grocery store or a restaurant. It's the next part that gets me. In my 6 weeks of tantrum boot camp, I have found that hugs and kisses are like gasoline on the tantrum fire of life. Here are the helpful photos provided:

Love me through it... GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!

"Leave me alone you stupid Mommy!"

 Actually, almost anything I try to do does not fix the tantrum. Well, unless the reason for the tantrum is because she wants to be picked up. We all know the final solution to that. Sometimes it is not available. The last two weeks I have employed a different strategy. I talk to L like she is a grown adult, and let her know that she needs to go to her room and have some emotional time to herself. It's kind of hilarious, but I don't laugh. I pick her up (while she thrashes) and bring her to her room. I find a soft and safe place on the floor (she likes to writhe around during tantrums) and put her down. Then I let her know to come find me when she is ready and I walk away. Also, I am not under any illusion that she understands a word I am saying. I just have to say SOMETHING and so I might as well say that.

The thing is, it works like a magic trick. Tantrums are SO much more fun when someone is watching. Like magic unicorn rainbow fun. When someone is not watching.. eh, not so cool. She finishes her cry, then gets up and comes to find me. Like a new little baby who had her emo time and is ready for something else.

This is a tantrum when someone is watching.

It's like a whole new two weeks. Now when a tantrum is near, I just walk away, out of sight. Change of focus, change of direction, baby follows. This has become especially effective when we have to come in from outside. It's 101 degrees outside with 90%  humidity. I can't breathe, but for Landon, we might as well live in SoCal. When we come inside I become the worst person she has ever met in her very short life. But then I walk away and you know what is cooler than being outside?? Finding mommy. 

Really, who the hell knows anything? My life with baby has been trial and error. When I figure something out, it only takes a few weeks for it to stop working or for something new to pop up. That's why "T" is also for Trying to Survive... Kids or not, isn't that what we are all doing on some days? 

The following also solve Landon's tantrums when I don't have time to be a good parent and take her to her room: Elmo, the cat, going back outside, Elmo, the wagon, Sesame Street, the ipad, and especially Elmo's world. Just a quick little 10 minute Elmo break and toddler is good as gold.

By the way, the internet and I made up after Landon was born. We agreed to never talk about SIDS, but we chatted about baby baths, sleep training, rules for breast milk, switching to formula, and our newest BFF diapers.com lives on the internet, so we've all started drinking from our matching mugs again.

You know who got this for me? The internet.

Right now, O is for the Olympics and G is for Gymnastics. Hopefully, T is really for Tantrum free Tuesday with a Toddler. Check it.

-RT

Pretending to be an Indian Olympian 101

It's Sunday y'all. I am pooped. BUT THE OLYMPICS ARE HERE!!!!!!!!! THAT is amazeballs. I am psyched and at random times in the day I swear people are chanting "USA USA USA"... The Olympics make you crazy. So, in honor of them we are going to do a recipe based on my favorite event from the games so far. It happened before the flame was even lit, when some "mystery woman" or rather, a volunteer from the Opening Ceremonies, decided she would just walk next to the flag bearer of the Indian delegation. Just cause. You know. Whatevs.

One of these things is not like the other.

At first I was like, how did NO ONE notice her?? Apparently India didn't make for a big appearance on the tv coverage of the parade of nations. Or maybe it was because Meredith Viera and Matt Lauer were SO TERRIBLE commentating the ceremonies that I zoned out of everything else. But this is really AMAZING. To be fair, this woman is an Indian woman who is currently living in London. She was cleared for security as a volunteer who danced during the ceremonies. She was probably backstage and was like "hey buddies, I'm Indian" and the officials were like "everyone from India, walk through this door" so she just went with it. Too bad she didn't have a yellow sari. Indian volunteer Madhura Nagendra sure has some GIANT lady balls.

So maybe you want to make it to the Parade of Nations and walk with the Indian delegation. Oh, you do? Fantastic. We are making easy Indian at home, and that has to be at least one step on your way there. Another step, surely, involves watching Englishmen Sir Ben Kingsley play Indian lawyer turned leader Gandhi in the 1982 movie. I'm sure this will get you half way there. Let's hurry.

Tan in a can, Sir Ben... Tan in a can.

I picked up some pork loin chops last week and wasn't really sure exactly what I was going to do with them. I got home from work and took them out of the fridge and looked around. We had kale, so I considered grilling the pork with some sauteed kale and garlic... then I saw this deliciousness hiding in the back.

Hello, friend.

Usually when I need an Indian/Pakistani food fix we head over to Himalaya. Chef Kaiser, a wonderful Pakistani man and his wife run the show. It is always amazing and deliciously spicy in all the right ways. BUT we can't always get away and sometimes it's nice to have something easy at home. Maya Kaimal makes all natural preservative free Indian Simmer Sauces that do not disappoint. I prefer them in medium because I think the flavor of the spices comes through much better than the mild. They also stay good for a really long time so you can stock them in your fridge for cooking emergencies. Go to the website above to find it in a store near you. 

I cut the pork into one inch cubes and let it come to room temp. Sprinkled a little salt and pepper over them and coated them in olive oil. 

I set the pan on the stove over medium to let it warm up and coated it with olive oil. Then I tossed the pork in with some shaved garlic.

Next I got out the kale and washed and rinsed it. Here is a photo of kale just for fun. You know, because kale is fun. 

Party.

I cooked the pork over medium heat and made sure the sides had started to cook evenly. It started to look like this:

Next I tore off the kale and added it into the same pan as the pork. 

I tossed everything in together and let it cook until the kale started to wilt and shrink. Then I added in the simmer sauce a little at a time. 

Once everything was coated I let it sit and cook and absorb the sauce. While it was cooking I came to a sad realization, I had NO rice. I had never cooked anything like this before, and again, I had no rice. That's pretty much a staple, especially for what I was craving. Soooo I took another risk. I found some Soba noodles in the pantry. 

So then I cooked the noodles while my pork and kale simmered in the butter sauce. Time to assemble the bowl.

Step one: Noodles.

Step Two: The Rest

And it was FREAKING DELICIOUS! Like AMAZING. I am making it again. The kale stood up really well to the simmering and the added sauce and held the flavor. The noodles were also a really great extra. Not as overly starchy as rice and a nice little addition. I kind of wish I had some more right now.

After you have your Indian meal and watch Gandhi a few times, run out to the store and pick up some blue plants and a red zip up hoodie. You are basically there. Or you could always take up a sport and spend the next few years of your life training. That might be more admirable. Maybe. 

Many wishes for a week filled with 100m relays and gymnastic floor shows!

- RT

I'd do anything for love (but really I wouldn't because I won't do "that")

I spent a fair amount of time in 1993 wondering exactly what Meatloaf wouldn't do for love. Also, I still don't know. I think I might not be deep enough. Have you seen Meatloaf? He is obviously not a shallow guy. I have discovered recently that "that" has nothing to do with going on celebrity apprentice. So we can rule it out. If you have figured out what "that" is, please let me know. It's been almost 20 years and I'm waiting with bated breath. So that's enough about Meatloaf, let's talk more about meatloaf.

See where we are going here?

I love meatloaf for various reasons. Most of them run along the same lines of why I love casseroles. You can eat them for more than one meal and the oven cooks them for you. Meatloaf also tastes great as a sandwich and I love it even more now because babies love meatloaf. At least mine does. Any recipe that can easily add people AND baby meals is like a triple shooting star life bonus. SO let's pretend that you are on a stay at home day and your husband says "can you get the meatloaf started?" and like a normal, sane person you reply "sure, where is the recipe?" Tips for life, people... there was no recipe. He had just purchased 2lbs of ground meat and figured "we had stuff." This instance works out well for everyone. We did indeed have the "stuff", but I won't do "that". Figure it out. 

So step one in my meatloaf adventure was to find a basic recipe. I went to my friend Internet and hollered at my BFF Google. Dear Google, Please send me an easy meatloaf recipe.....  My buddy G led me to allrecipes.com and gave me a recipe to work with. I had to make adjustments though, because the recipe I found called for 1.5lbs of ground meat and I had 2lbs that I wanted to use all of, but either way my kitchen scale has been dead for over three years. There. I confessed. We were going to have to use two pounds of meat. I assembled the ingredients. 

I found some panko bread crumbs in the pantry, we always have eggs since it's L's breakfast of choice, I keep a sack of white onions in the pantry as well becuase they take a while to spoil and can go in almost anything. With a baby we also always have milk. But I guess we always have milk regardless because S drinks it like a 16 year old boy. I also got out a couple of the fresh tomatoes we got in our Farmhouse Delivery, but I didn't end up using them. 

Onion chopping 101:

Cut a grid in the onion without cutting all of the way through. If you need more information on what a grid is, ask google. There is one pictured on the onion above. Then turn the onion on its side and begin to slice. Everything is already chopped for you. You could also use a slap chop, but I find it is sometimes inconsistent with chop size and it also hurts your hand after a while. Also, that guy is just really, really creepy. Slap chop guy. Moving on.

I preheated the oven to 350, let my ground meat come to room temp, and also let my milk come a little to room temp. I decided to add in some sliced garlic and took out the tomatoes. Then we ended up with this:

To compensate for the extra half pound of meat, I used a large onion, increased the milk from 1C to 1 and 1/3C, and increased the bread crumbs from 1 C to 1 1/3C. I thought about adding an extra egg, but in the end decided not to. 

So if you are a woman (or a man, I guess) who has longer fingernails, the best way to mix your ingredients together involves two hands and some latex gloves that don't have powder on them. Something like this. These gloves are just great to keep under your sink for cooking, especially if you cook with peppers often. Too many times I kind of forget I just held a jalapeno and rub my eye. The worst is when you do it and pick/"scratch" your nose. IT burns. Actually I've heard of worse things, but we are talking about meatloaf. Combine all of your ingredients in a bowl, and mix together with your hands. I didn't have gloves and I didn't want to pick ground meat out from under my fingernails so I used a potato masher. It was eh. It worked in a pinch. Gloves would be better or find someone who bites their nails (tell them to wash their hands) and have them do this.  Also, salt and pepper to taste. 

Mish Mash.

Next I made a little something something to go on top of the meatloaf. The recipe on allrecipes.com called for 2 tablespoons of mustard, 2 tablespoons of brown sugar and 1/3 C of ketchup. I just eyeballed it, keeping in mind my meatloaf was going to be larger. I used dijon mustard. 

Top Sauce

I prefer to mold my meatloaf and cook it in a larger pan than to do it in a loaf pan. You take the meat and make sure there is room so only the base is touching something, and mold it into a loaf shape. 

Add the top sauce over the top.  That is why it's called "top sauce"

And place in oven. The original recipe had a cooking time of one hour. Because I used more meat and more ingredients overall, I checked on it at one hour, but ended up cooking it for an hour and fifteen minutes total. Here is the finished product:

At this point if I had extra liquid I would use a baster to get it out so it doesn't soak back in. Well I spent some time looking for a baster and couldn't find one. In Landon's kitchen play drawer there are all sorts of kitchen tools and random things that are safe for her. In that drawer I found this:

Hmmm. Handy kitchen tool?

Although I had a c-section I was still sent home from the hospital with one of these fancy things that was never used. It made a really great baster. It would have made an even better story if it had been used. If you are unsure of what exactly this bottle is used for you can view the product here. Then if you don't know your anatomy, ask our friend google. Fun times. Apparently I really will do anything for meatloaf... even "that".

We had our meatloaf with some grilled okra from our farm delivery. We put some olive oil and salt on the okra then cooked it in the grill wok. 

Served with a side of farm fresh cherry tomatoes. And lots of ketchup. Because while you shouldn't put ketchup on your steak, you can put it ALL OVER your meatloaf.

Meatloaf is a great recipe to play with on your own. You can add spinach, shaved carrots, mushrooms, or keep it simple and basic. It is also a sneaky way to get kids who don't eat their veggies to eat veggies without knowing it. No, ketchup is not a vegetable (even if the govt says so), I'm talking shaved and chopped up veggies cooked in there. 

Your final dish might also look something like this:

I ordered my Meatloaf rare.

Don't forget to order some kitchen gloves and a spare perineal cleanser for basting emergencies. Advice for life. 

-RT

Feeding Toddlers & My non scientific theories on Overweight Children

Hey there Internet! So we left mom world for a while. We've been liking things and loving Houston and having too much Sunday fun. So in honor of cranky toddlers who haven't been sleeping well, we're going to talk about more Ladybug food. The internet makes you think that blogging with a baby looks like this:

"Hey mom. I'm so happy! You finally figured out the difference between your and you're."

I can't show you what it really looks like to blog with a baby because I have yet to figure out that secret recipe. When Landon is awake I try to hang out with her or get out of the house. When I am blogging it is baby asleep time or daddy at home time. I can show you what it looks like to have a 15 month old who won't let you put her down on a day you have a lot to get done. That goes something like this:

 "WTF, mom?" love, Landon

Baby Bjorns that you borrow from your sister-in-law aren't just for babies anymore. They are for toddlers who won't leave you alone. And it works. Plus, an extra 23lbs of body weight when I'm getting chores done makes it count as a workout..... right?

I think I've said before that I had a really hard time trying to figure out what to feed Landon and when she was supposed to eat certain foods. Landon's doctor gave me lots of good info, I just always had more and more questions. I also didn't want to be that mother who called the pediatrician's nurse all the time asking non important or non emergency related questions. We are already on a first name basis (word to Justine), so I've taken learning about Landon's nutrition upon myself. I wanted to make sure she was getting healthy foods and also a variety of items to insure she got as many vitamins as possible directly from her food. I wanted to try my best to start good eating habits early. In my family picky eaters get chased from the dinner table and mocked. You are, quite simply, not allowed to dislike anything until you have tried it at least twice. You are also not allowed to put ketchup on your steak. Yes, people do that. I just didn't know because it wasn't allowed in our home.

That steak you just paid a decent sum for can taste just like ketchup too. And not at all like steak.

Back on task.... In the midst of all of these efforts, I came to a realization of sorts. Kids are fat. That was not my realization, that is just a fact. According to the CDC approximately 21 - 24% of American kids are overweight, and another 16 - 18% are obese. Before I had children I don't think I noticed most regular kids. I certainly didn't think about what children were eating. Here is my own personal realization - Parents now more than ever are focusing on how to keep their children happy. Of course you should want your children to be happy, but things like frustration and experiencing things like sadness and anger are a part of growing up and learning how to manage your emotions. This is what I learned when I became a parent: Your child experiences pain/sadness/anger/frustration and cries. In my non scientific study with one child, 95% of the time, you give this distressed child food and they stop crying. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only parent who has noticed this, but I also realized that I don't want Landon to view food as the thing that makes her feel better when she is upset. THAT is a trap I think many children, teenagers, and even adults fall into. I have fallen into it myself.

Ben & Jerry's: a neon sign for emotional distress

Why do you think breakups are followed with half gallons of ice cream and bags of potato chips? Oh, I mean pints of ice cream... maybe. It is part of our culture to feed people to make them happy. When someone experiences a loss, you bring them food. And I do bring them food. In my view, the food is not necessarily the enemy. I grew up eating McDonalds and Blue Bell among many other things. And I am not overweight or obese. It just seems like too many children and adolescents are turning to food for the wrong reasons. Food as a friend, food as a solution, food as a coping mechanism. They literally eat until they feel so full that they can't feel whatever emptiness was there before. It's comfort food taken to the extreme. People are no longer learning how to deal with their emotions, they are just filling themselves up so they feel something else. And parents who want their kids to be happy or stop crying or who just don't know any better are handing their children whatever is available to cope with their emotions. These parents don't realize what they are taking away from their children by doing this: The ability to cope and overcome and build emotional skills within themselves.

Of course, these are all just my opinions based on my own experiences and observations. I don't think the answer to the obesity epidemic is to close down fast food, outlaw soda, or limit the ability of restaurants to determine portion sizes. We shouldn't be threatening to take obese children away from parents. The money it would cost to foster those children and put them through the system should be used to educate their parents and the family on better ways to eat, exercise, and build their mental health. Sometimes we expect people to be perfect, but we are, after all, only human. Armed with knowledge, we can do so much more. When you grow up respecting food and having an education that teaches you about nutrition, it's hard to even imagine that someone wouldn't know that orange soda and a bag of doritos isn't a suitable meal. But the truth is, more often than not, people are uneducated about food. When I figure out the answer to all of the above, and how to pay for it, I'll meet with the president and let you all know how it goes. Then I'll come back here to let you know, once again:

I didn't really know I was going to go off on that big of a tangent, but what I was getting back around to are healthy food options for your toddler. Children do need more fat and fuel that adults, but you can find the balance by giving them good fats or fats that have other nutritional benefits. On a typical day, Landon has three meals and an afternoon snack. I look at each meal and make sure it has a veggie or two, most of the time a complex carb, a protein, and a little fruit for dessert. She is low on iron so we try to incorporate more iron rich items into her meals. Just keep your thoughts on that when you see that she has 2 egg yolks with one egg white for breakfast. Also, I say this a lot but I like to say it again and again, YOU know your child best as far as what they can handle in their ability to chew and swallow. Please adjust accordingly.

Healthy foods for Toddlers and Children 12 months and up:

Main Breakfast examples:

This is a shared breakfast for Landon and myself. She eats both egg yolks,
I get the whites and the leftover oatmeal and banana.

Eggs - scrambled, sunny side up, poached, or however your child prefers them. Landon likes her eggs over medium and cut up into bite size pieces. I know this because she told me once in full sentences.

Cereal - No, not Wheaties and skim milk with a spoon. The rice, barley, wheat, etc cereal made for babies is still a great way for your toddler to get healthy whole grains and iron. 

Porridge/Grits/Cream of Wheat - You can find 100% whole wheat cream of wheat at most grocery stores and it is more flavorful with more texture than the basics. 

Oatmeal - Basic oatmeal with a bit of whole milk & some cinnamon make a great start to the day and it's something the whole family can eat.

Yogurt - We like to use a basic 2% fat Greek with a little honey added mixed with sliced mango.

With any of the above we offer morning fruit. Usually something like: 1/3 of a banana (sliced), a few strawberries (sliced), mango chunks, raspberries cut in half, or blueberries, also cut in half. 

Lunch or Dinner examples:

Clockwise from top left, sweet potato, salmon, chopped spinach, & buffalo mozzarella in cubes.

Main Proteins/Items: 

Salmon or any other fish - grilled, baked, poached, or steamed - make sure it is deboned 

Shrimp - it is sweet and fresh and easy to chew

Chicken - L has recently started to prefer the dark meat to the breast, but she goes back and forth 

Pork - works for lots of kids chopped or braised, but sometimes can cause upset stomachs

Turkey - chopped, shredded or ground

Beef - because beef is a more chewy food, we are still doing mainly ground, but braised meats that are completely tender are wonderful

Lamb - Landon loves braised lamb and also ground lamb. It is a great source of iron and more flavorful than other ground meats and poultry

Tofu - Great if you are looking for a vegetarian alternative & takes on the flavor of whatever you cook it with

Whole Wheat Pasta - perfect way to get whole grains and a filling complex carb with more flavor than plain white pasta. Pasta can be the main part of a meal or a side.

Legumes - Lentils, butter beans, black beans, pinto beans, soy beans, lima beans, etc. Beans are full of iron, great finger food, and easy to chew. They also help to develop a healthy digestive system and are full of fiber. They can serves as the main part of a meal or a side.

Sides:

It's a bird, it's a plane, no, wait.... it's a perfect side, snack, or dessert for toddlers.

 Think of a fruit or a vegetable. Got one? Ok, now thing of another one. Now another one. Now think of every vegetable or fruit you can imagine. Are you with me? I guarantee that 95% of what you are thinking of is good for your child to eat. You might have to adjust the way you prepare it, making sure it is soft enough to chew and cut into the right size, but too many people are focused on what babies can't eat the first year. It was hard for me at first to wrap my head around what they can eat. Basically, everything. Here are some of the favorites sides that we also eat and some that Landon likes best:

Avocado, chopped spinach, sweet potato, green peas, carrots, zucchini, butternut squash, snap peas, tomatoes,  kale, new potatoes, broccoli, peaches, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, mango, cherries, kiwi, banana, all berries, red pepper, grapes (cut in quarters), pears, pineapple, watermelon, cantaloupe, and corn.

Other Snacks:

It's snack time, y'all.

I try to make sure that Landon gets a calcium rich snack since we try to stay away from calcium during her meals. It blocks iron absorption, so this is just a her specific thing. Her snack always consists of some kind of cheese and either a fruit or a whole grain. For some fruit ideas, see above.

Cheese snacks:

Cottage cheese (2%), chevre goat cheese, 365 organic shredded white cheddar cheese, cheddar cheese stick cut up into small cubes, or misc cheese treat.

Unsweetened applesauce is awesome as a snack or a side to a meal. The unsweetened tastes great and you lose almost half the calories and all the added sugar. 

Her current favorite snack addition is Magic Pop. It is a puffed rice deal like a giant round, flat rice crispy. I know you can find different versions of them all around. Our HEB stores and Central Market make them in the store. She likes it because she can break it up on her own and eat it. I think it makes her feel fancy.

On the go snacks are also an essential item. There is a time and a place when you might need to feed a tantrum to keep it from happening. I do recognize that. I keep my diaper bag stocked with earth's best cereal bars, mum mums, tupperware with plain cheerios, more magic pop, and sometimes graham crackers.

It's easy for me to sit here with a healthy 15 month old and pretend to have all of the answers. I really don't. I am just doing the best that I can and trying to educate myself to make good decisions for myself and my family. The key there is education. We need to educate ourselves and work to educate others. There are options out there and ways to create a healthy relationship with food for yourself and for your children. I work at getting it right most of the time. Saying I would get it right all of the time just isn't realistic. Kids should be allowed their treats the same as adults should. But treats are treats and food should be respected as should your body, your emotions and most of all, yourself.

- RT

Beer in Thailand, Vodka in Poland, all on one Sunday in Houston

Just when you think you are getting too old for a Sunday Funday, one drops right into your lap! Yesterday we had the great fortune to head out on one of Houston's culinary tours. Saveur Magazine put the premise behind these tours in much better (and more simple) terms than I could. "The visitors bureau of Houston, Texas, has hit on a great idea for food tours: round up the most passionate chefs in the city, ask them where they love to eat on their days off, and build an itinerary around that. Then invite the public." I had the pleasure of helping to set the logistics behind these tours in motion a few years ago with my former colleague who now handles all of the logistics with his new company Experience Houston.  It was a pretty fantastic day. 

So we kicked things off in the US. I had Special K for breakfast around 8am and headed to the grocery store. Once upon a time I did two of these tours back to back. The media was in town and it was during Rodeo, so in the morning we did a media tour that ended at the Rodeo Cook Off where we picked up the next media group for the afternoon tour. Eight restaurants in about eight hours. Thankfully I was working so I didn't have time to completely stuff my face. I did learn from watching others, so I tried to mentally prepare for the food marathon before me. We had 4 planned stops between 11am and 4pm. I knew I could do it. 

The tour in question was a version of the Long Point Road tour with Chef Bryan Caswell of Reef (former "Next Iron Chef" contestant) and Chef Chris Shepherd of new media darling, Underbelly. I don't mean for "media darling" to take anything away from Underbelly. We had an amazing experience dining and drinking there with friends a few months back.  And also, their PR team is working overtime. Neither of these chefs are strangers of PR. Caswell's Reef is undeniably some of the best seafood in Houston and he has had multiple James Beard nominations. This pair was also well put together. Both fun loving and ready to get things going. The bus meets up with everyone at Central Market to load up. 

Caswell's H-Town Glamour Shot

You can tell he is a chef because he has a cleaver. And also, he is wearing a chef's coat.

 We crack open some Saint Arnold Beer and head to our first destination. Vieng Thai is located in a strip center near the start of Long Point Road. There is not a functioning website to link to, but foodies are into it, so you can google it and find plenty of info. Before moving back to Houston I knew nothing about Thai Food. Houston has the third largest Vietnamese community in the United States, so spring rolls and Banh Mi abound. I am still just getting to know the true and delicious Thai selections. Vieng Thai is not to be missed. I could have stayed there the entire four hours filling my face. The items we had were as follows: E-sarn Sausage, Som Tum (green papaya salad), Massamum curry (above and beyond amazing), Plaa Pad Ped (Spicy catfish with basil, fantastic), Pat Sar-tor (shrimp with chili paste), Yum Nheam (I was afraid of this one because it was basically raw sausage, but I tried it. Then I tried it again. Then again. Fab), and lastly, the Pad See Ewe (noodle with black bean sauce, egg and pork). Everything we had was fantastic. The beer went with it perfectly. Great spices, great flavors, a few beers in and we were off!

You can tell it's good because there is neon on the outside AND the inside.

We were running ahead of schedule, so we swung by Korean Grocery Store H-Mart. Or as I have come to think of it, Costco for Asians. One of my favorite things about Asian mega grocery stores is the food court. It is always amazing and noodly (new word) and deliciousness. H-Mart did not disappoint. We picked up some ripe cherries for a dollar and some change a pound. We headed for the sake section and got a couple bottles of cold sake to share with our tour friends. Then we headed back to the bus. 

KIMCHI for one and all at H-Mart!

The "second" stop was Korea Garden, further down Long Point and next to a Karaoke joint. You know it's good Asian food when there is Karaoke nearby. We had actually been here before with one of S's friends from grad school who is Korean. No one spoke English at that time. They pretty much still don't. We were brought to the back room where the gas grills on the table were already burning and before they brought water they asked who wanted a beer. Two please, and a few bottles of Soju. The table was already laid out with raw meat and seafood ready to be grilled and seafood pancakes. The barbeque was followed up by bibim Nengmyun (Chilled buckwheat noodles) and Samgye Tang (chicken ginseng soup). The food is amazing and Soju is like sweeter, less alcoholic vodka that makes for great sipping. Additionally you get the fun feeling of grilling your own meat on the grill that lives in the middle of your table. Lots of soju later, we head on. 

We were cooking all on our own, but I found this professional photo by
Julie Sopher from a previous tour and it gives you a better idea of the set up.

Samgye Tang

Hite & Soju. Soju. Soju.

Stop three was Kong Ju Rice Bakery where they apparently make the best Kimchi in town. Even if you haven't been here, if you have eaten Kimchi in Houston, it was likely from Kong Ju Rice Bakery. They put on a great demo of how they make Kimchi and they dressed it up big time for us. They also had fantastic rice treats and amazing rolls with pickled veggies. And I can't tell you about the dumplings. The dumplings. Holy dough and spice and fish cakes and wow. Here are some shots: 

Neon Blue Prada pumps in the kitchen. Just another day at Kong Ju Rice Bakery.

The dumplings with the spices with the fish cakes with the.... YUM.

Pickled veggie rolls. Fantastic.

WHO WANTS DUMPLINGS?!?!?! Then he kicked his leg and posed and I LOVED IT!

Rice Bakery treats.

One large Kimchi

Somehow we ended up in Poland... or actually a block or so off of Long Point on Blalock at Polonia. We walk in and the table is set and spread with a shot of vodka at each setting and platters full of perogies. Polish heaven. Then potato pancakes, polish sausage and sauerkraut and followed up with cheese blintz drizzled in chocolate. Guys.. Oh yeah, we had more vodka. And then they brought out beer steins as big as two Popeye forearms. Then all of the sudden, four bottles of vodka were empty. Don't be too impressed. There were at least 25 people. And some of them were from New Orleans, so they had hollow legs or something. Things were getting messy. We got back on the bus and in true party form we broke out the BOTTLED WATER!!!! Effin' party animals. 

Polish Sausage

Perogies

He had a business meeting to go to...

In the words of S's email to me this morning: "Sunday Funday equals Monday nofunday." It would have been more prophetic had we thought about that yesterday. So then I came back to the US and took care of life at home and sent out happy I LOVE HOUSTON blog vibes to the world and went to bed. 


For more on the Houston Culinary Tours click here. They sell out in minutes and space is limited so if you want to jump on the bus, be quick about it. 


Tomorrow - an easy meatloaf recipe and some ladybug food. Tonight: Newsroom & bed. 


Here's to Sunday Funday (in moderation).


- RT