A Whole New Kind of Party Hangover

Why is Two so Awesome? Because running in circles in the driveway is currently the best. The resulting fall? Not so cool.

It's official, we have a two year old. I feel that L really tried to make this official multiple times starting as early as 16 months, but really driving the point home around 20 months or so. We get it sweetheart, you're two. It is terrifying and hilarious and only terrible at times. Mostly it's hilarious. Hilarious Twos doesn't really sound as good though. The internet apparently is there for you if you are having a terrible time with the twos. Just google terrible twos and see how many helpful books and articles pop up. Internet parenting... it's the new TV parenting. Most books want to help you turn the terrible twos into the "terrific twos" and I'm kind of skeptical.. because I don't know if I've ever wanted to do anything labeled as "terrific".... Show me a book with a cute kid on the front that says "How to Have an Awesome Time with Your Two Year Old" and I'm buying one for all of us. A "terrific" time probably involves crafts that I am not crafty enough for and houses that are too clean. And for the sake of toddlers, don't put a damn screaming toddler on a toddler help book. I thought this would be common sense.

PUT A SMILING CHILD ON YOUR BOOK! You're welcome.

But let's stop talking about books I am never going to read. I prefer a trial and error approach and on bad days, I just take things one hour at a time. That and a little PBS kids seems to be the cure for any terrible two moments I can intercept. So let's talk about hangovers... it's been a while.

Before anyone calls social services, I am not having any alcohol related hangovers, this is a brand new kind of hangover. You thought that three day bender in New Orleans for Jazz Fest really left you in a bind with your French Quarter Cough and inability to work simple addiction? Yeah, that was fun and everything, but I am currently in recovery from the second birthday celebrations that sucked the life force out of me leaving a Becky shell filled with allergies and lots of saline spray. This morning (2 days post party) I laid in bed breathing through one nostril wondering if it was in any way possible to call in sick to life. It seems to be much more complicated when there is a child involved. Then I couldn't figure out who exactly I would call. 2 minutes later I was getting a good morning kiss from a milk cup wielding toddler who wanted to see what Curious George was up to. Not the worst way to get up in the morning. This would be part of the awesome twos. 

The house is still a mess, but the back yard is clean! I took the last bit of sugar filled bday treats to the office today and it will be sad tonight without a giant cupcake, but the tiny baby boy who is hanging out with me for the next 14 weeks or so will super appreciate this. I day dream about a time when I could decide that my daily activity would be catching up on an entire season of anything while staying in bed and only getting up to answer the door when the takeout arrived. But I really just want one of those days and I'll trade the season catch up for a kindle but I'm sticking with the takeout. 

What I failed to realize is that the bonus that should be included with a toddler birthday party is an entire day of bed rest accompanied by a cleaning crew. I'm into that. In a different scenario (the one where I am not pregnant) I would host a brunch in my dirty house the day after the birthday celebrations. I would supply some sort of breakfast (like tacos or egg mcmuffins) and plenty of champagne breakfast drinks and we could all clean my house together. Right? Couldn't we? Because there is always next year and maybe the theme of that party will be "Terrific and Tidy Three!" Bring your mops and brooms kids, because this party is going to get real. Real Terrific.

Here's a quick party recap and a good tip for future parent bday party picture takers. Following your child around taking pictures trying to "capture the magic" will only lead to about 40 pictures of the party featuring the back of your child's head. Also the side of the head and the top of the head. 

Unintended party attraction: Our illustrious cat, Senor don Gato.

Apparently "cake please" translates to "frosting NOW!"

Back for more concentrating on chocolate chip consumption and remaining frosting.

Making evil terrible two plans to dominate the world... and eat more cupcakes.

So call me crazy (most of you might have done this already) but I'm really excited about two. The last few weeks have definitely tested my patience and my sanity, and I see that there will be much more of that ahead. But it also seems that as the challenges get a little more challenging the rewards get much more rewarding. This amazing little personality is coming out. And sometimes that little personality has to go sit in time out for two minutes, but the rest is pretty hilarious. From what I have figured out so far, having a sense of humor about parenting is the way to go. A sense of humor and a really good first aid kit. For every ten minute long melt down (I swear it was at least 30 minutes long) at the grocery store because you have to ride in the green car and not the red car (this really happened yesterday) a couple of hours later you get to watch your daughter pushing her doll in a swing and giving it a blanket to "keep baby warm" while she chats with two dolls at the back door.  

Babysitting

Most party hangovers are the result of a great night or at least a few good stories... and my two year old birthday party hangover is no different. It is the result of a little stress, a messy house, a run down immune system, and more than enough fun to make it totally worth it. 

-RT 

What's for Dinner?

Lately I have felt like I'm letting my Cooking Light subscription go to waste. It is easier for me most times to not follow a recipe, or maybe just less time consuming. I also feel like when I am following a recipe I end up spending more at the grocery store. I tried to challenge all of that and looked for recipes that were inexpensive (or that I had most of the ingredients for) and that took an hour or less to cook. Cook along with me and compare experiences, or wait and see how it goes before you try these out. I picked three recipes knowing that they would provide leftovers for at least one to two nights. 

Here is what we are up to this week:

Chicken and Orzo Skillet Dinner

Photo from Cooking Light

Pork Chops with Roasted Apples and Onions 
served with Haricots Verts and a Mustard Vinaigrette

Photo from Cooking Light

Roasted Chicken Thighs with Mustard-Thyme Sauce
with Roasted Potatoes and Green Beans

Photo from Cooking Light

In sickness updates, after a quick dr visit this morning, Landy is on the mend and it has been officially confirmed that there is still not a cure for Tantrums. If you discover one, let me know. I'm just going to keep working with general lack of attention even though it gets difficult when a small person is clinging to your legs. Motherhood. So glamorous (flossy, flossy.)

Time to mentally prepare for cooking through a tantrum. Nap time is a survival gift from God. And a BIG Happy Birthday to L!

-RT

I is for Independence: Two Days of Hard Fought Ladybug Meals

Aaand we're back to babies for a bit. Landon and I have been having a lot of fun lately, and also a lot of not so fun. Not so fun is tantrums in public, refusing to eat meat, and throwing anything related to food on the floor (usually accompanied with a dead pan stare). Ahh the joys of toddlers.

The only time pouting is cute is when it's a photo of someone else's child

The majority of frustrated times are now revolving around meal time. Little Miss Landy now has a strong opinion on what she would like to eat and what she would like to throw on the floor. I used to love meal time. It was such a wonderful time when we sat together and had our mini dinner parties (no wine). Now it's a mental mind field of "will she eat this", "how can I get her to do this", "how can I stop that", and the stress of making sure she is getting the iron she needs. Just to back track, L has iron absorption issues and we try to get it in naturally instead of by liquid supplement.

I used to ignore her when she threw food (get ready for a full circle moment) but then I started telling her not to, because she could understand me. That worked until she realized that she didn't have to listen just because I said so. Then I would take her out of the seat and make her pick up what she threw and put her back in. That was messy and also didn't go so well. She actually likes throwing the food AND picking it up. Then I thought, if she throws the food, I'll just turn her around so she has to eat looking at the wall. She really didn't care too much about that either.

"parenting"

So we are back to just ignoring it. I'm not sure if it works for her, but it is MUCH easier for me. When she finishes her meal if there is food on the floor, I ask her to help me pick it up and she mostly does. Don't get me wrong, she is not down on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor, she picks up a few bigger chunks of things and hands them to me. Baby steps. Literally. After all, she thinks picking things up is fun so I'm going to use that until it changes (probably tomorrow). 

I have offered different meal suggestions for toddlers, but still had some emails wanting an example of a typical day. A typical day is never typical, so here are two days of real life Landon food. 

Day 1:

Breakfast

Landon and I usually share breakfast. I fry 3 eggs. She takes two yolks and maybe the whites of one egg and I have the rest. This day I made some oatmeal that I ate most of and she had maybe 7 or 8 bites. She has water with all of her meals. 

Unexpected Snack

We did a bit of running around on this morning and a even in the afternoon. She got restless at the grocery store so I bought a bag of goldfish and gave her a handful. Then she saw the magic pop machine and I still had things to get. Instead of fighting a tantrum, I fed it. Magic pop. 

Lunch

Black eyed peas, zucchini, two GIANT organic strawberries, and some fresh pineapple. She wasn't really that excited about this lunch. To make up for it I mixed some goat cheese in with the black eyed peas. That helped a little. This meal was not a huge success, but I am going to blame the surprise morning snack.

Afternoon Snack

This afternoon snack was more like a picnic. L had a dr's appt. Of course, as Murphy's Law of Naps clearly states, she was taking the best nap of her life and I had to wake her up to leave. I grabbed things that were easy on the go. A banana, some magic pop in a zip lock, and a cheddar cheese stick that was eaten in the waiting room. I know bloggers are weird, but I am not going to take a picture of a cheese stick in the waiting room. There is a line.

Bakery Stop

My bakery vice. We'll wait to intro these to Landon

 I had to stop at the baker on the way home to order a cake. This bakery has a website landing page with the phone number. They don't answer the phone. Every baby gets a free sugar cookie unless their mom is so mean that she refuses. Free sugar cookie for L. 

Dinner

I made dinner small on purpose. Because of the entire banana she ate at 3:30, the sugar cookie at 4:15, and countless "bites" of magic pop. This is salmon and broccoli. She ate all of it and nothing more. She threw it on the floor. This was the meal that led me to my decision to ignore the food olympics. I had a glass of wine after bed time. Well deserved.

Day 2

Breakfast

Just a second reminder, we share breakfast. Also, this is what is offered. Lots of times half of the banana or the rest of the oatmeal is put back away for the next day. This breakfast was homemade oatmeal with a 1/2 C unsweetened apple sauce added in. It is one of my favorite ways to sweeten plain oatmeal. Three fried eggs, a peach, and banana. I took half of the peach and put it in the oatmeal chopped up. L ate the other half. There were eggs left over for me. This was a big breakfast.

Bakery Stop

Again. I know. I had to go back in because, like I said, they don't answer the phone. Who wants a sugar cookie at 9:15am? Landon. And me too, but I'm an adult so I just stole half of  hers when we got in the car.

Lunch

This was a really good lunch. More salmon from the filet I cooked the day before, mashed potatoes leftover from our dinner, raspberries, half of an avocado and a dolup of sour cream for the salmon. It was my back up plan in case she decided she didn't like salmon today. Turns out I needed it and it worked like a charm. She ate most everything offered. I only gave her half of the  mashed potatoes and she left 3 raspberries that I ate. Mommy clean up. Also, the food throwing dropped to a one time occurrence. Ignoring the baby behavior wins again.

Afternoon Snack

When she woke up from this nap L was really fussy. Her eye teeth have been coming in for what feels like MONTHS but she really only has pain on and off. I can't wait for those suckers to break through. She was really in pain and having a tough time settling down. So we turned on sesame street and she had some advil followed by her snack. We don't make it a habit to eat in the living room, but this was pretty pitiful. 10 minutes after the advil I heard her crunch into the magic pop, served with half a banana and a cheddar cheese stick.

Dinner

This isn't the actual dinner that goes with this day. I had a blog window available and I took it. Tonight I will be attempting to serve meatloaf, broccoli, sweet potato and the rest of the avocado from lunch. A very similar dinner to the one above, just sub out the peas and the chicken. Use your imagination. You'll need it in the years to come.

There they are. Two whole days of Landon food. It kind of makes me hungry. Question, does anyone else babyproof the old fashioned way?

Budget friendly babyproofing for the busy mom

Don't worry, all of the toxic items are in real baby proofed cabinets. This is just my lazy way for pots and pans and all other things. Rubber bands are courtesy of the produce section of the grocery store.

I just found some leftover sugar cookie in my bra. Today is not a glamorous day.

-RT

"T" is for Toddlers and Tantrums and Trying to Survive. It is.

"T": it's not just for timeout anymore. Word.

 Remember when you first found out you were pregnant and you couldn't talk about it with anyone who was a real female person so you talked about it with the Internet? (Oh, did I forget to say this is a post for people with lady parts? It is.) When you first get the double pink line, or the cross, or the digital pregnancy message, or your dr's office calls after you go in for a blood test and is like "by the way you are pregnant" (wait, what?) this might be the first step in your relationship with babycenter.com. After surviving my 1st trimester of silence, I was pretty sure that pregnant women didn't ever need to ask the internet questions. And you know how much I love to do that. When you are pregnant internet questions go something like this:

Q: I'm pregnant and I have a cold. Which medicines should I take?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I thought I had a cold. Turns out I had herpes. Go get an STD test.

Q: I'm pregnant and feel like I might be sick. Is this just morning sickness?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I felt sick. It turns out I had cancer. Call your doctor immediately.

Q: I'm pregnant and want to have some coffee. Is that ok?
Internet: Once when I was pregnant I had coffee and then my baby had three legs and one nipple. Drink water and only water.

Q: I'm pregnant and accidentally had some alcoholic punch. What should I do?
Internet: OMFG YOU ARE GOING TO HELL AND YOUR BABY IS COMPLETELY F&(#ED!! I'm calling social services.

The Google Devil will eat your unborn child

 Seriously. When it comes to health, the internet is not your friend. You know who is your friend? Your doctor. BUT anyway, before I went off on yet another tangent, we were talking about the center for babies, also know as BabyCenter.com. (Stay out of the chat board things. People are crazy.) They send you these fancy weekly emails when you are preggo talking about how your baby is the size of a Nordic Autumn Fruit (right) and growing fingernails inside of your stomach. Or uterus. Whatever. 

Where does this baby grow??

 What I didn't know when I signed up for these is that they keep going. You get weekly updates about your baby and now I am the lucky recipient of toddler updates. (I know, don't get too jealous.) Ever since L reached 15 months, the theme of most of these emails is tantrums. The timing is spot on. Girlfriend is all about frustrated communication and having an opinion. 

What? The cat doesn't want me to pet it? TO THE FLOOR!!!!

I'm not going to tell you how to fix toddler tantrums. I am in no way qualified to do so. But you know what is an even bigger joke than my upcoming tantrum techniques? The advice babycenter gave me today. 

"My 15 month old, week 4".....When your toddler throws a full-blown screaming fit in the middle of the grocery store, you may want to hide behind the toilet paper display – but rest assured that other parents feel your pain. The most useful response is to take your child out of the store (even if it means leaving a cart full of food behind) and sit with him until he finishes crying. Staying calm and offering lots of hugs and kisses can help. 

The first part makes sense. No toddler in the middle of a full blown tantrum is going to be able to calm down in an overstimulating environment like the grocery store or a restaurant. It's the next part that gets me. In my 6 weeks of tantrum boot camp, I have found that hugs and kisses are like gasoline on the tantrum fire of life. Here are the helpful photos provided:

Love me through it... GET AWAY FROM MEEEEEE!

"Leave me alone you stupid Mommy!"

 Actually, almost anything I try to do does not fix the tantrum. Well, unless the reason for the tantrum is because she wants to be picked up. We all know the final solution to that. Sometimes it is not available. The last two weeks I have employed a different strategy. I talk to L like she is a grown adult, and let her know that she needs to go to her room and have some emotional time to herself. It's kind of hilarious, but I don't laugh. I pick her up (while she thrashes) and bring her to her room. I find a soft and safe place on the floor (she likes to writhe around during tantrums) and put her down. Then I let her know to come find me when she is ready and I walk away. Also, I am not under any illusion that she understands a word I am saying. I just have to say SOMETHING and so I might as well say that.

The thing is, it works like a magic trick. Tantrums are SO much more fun when someone is watching. Like magic unicorn rainbow fun. When someone is not watching.. eh, not so cool. She finishes her cry, then gets up and comes to find me. Like a new little baby who had her emo time and is ready for something else.

This is a tantrum when someone is watching.

It's like a whole new two weeks. Now when a tantrum is near, I just walk away, out of sight. Change of focus, change of direction, baby follows. This has become especially effective when we have to come in from outside. It's 101 degrees outside with 90%  humidity. I can't breathe, but for Landon, we might as well live in SoCal. When we come inside I become the worst person she has ever met in her very short life. But then I walk away and you know what is cooler than being outside?? Finding mommy. 

Really, who the hell knows anything? My life with baby has been trial and error. When I figure something out, it only takes a few weeks for it to stop working or for something new to pop up. That's why "T" is also for Trying to Survive... Kids or not, isn't that what we are all doing on some days? 

The following also solve Landon's tantrums when I don't have time to be a good parent and take her to her room: Elmo, the cat, going back outside, Elmo, the wagon, Sesame Street, the ipad, and especially Elmo's world. Just a quick little 10 minute Elmo break and toddler is good as gold.

By the way, the internet and I made up after Landon was born. We agreed to never talk about SIDS, but we chatted about baby baths, sleep training, rules for breast milk, switching to formula, and our newest BFF diapers.com lives on the internet, so we've all started drinking from our matching mugs again.

You know who got this for me? The internet.

Right now, O is for the Olympics and G is for Gymnastics. Hopefully, T is really for Tantrum free Tuesday with a Toddler. Check it.

-RT