Diaper Rash & Me: My Favorite Baby Skin Products

A parental post about red butts. And other skin ailments. Welcome.

My kids have sensitive skin. L had diaper rash in varying degrees, had decently bad eczema in spots for her first two years, and still requires a nightly dose of grease after her bath. William had Landon's same diaper rash issue, and I'm hoping that is it. Here's what I learned about diaper rash from my kids & some products that I love.

When we brought home Landon my diaper routine was about corn starch baby powder, pampers sensitive diapers and pampers sensitive wipes. Right off the bat, she got red on her bottom and I didn't know why. We were changing her every time the line turned any shade of another color. Someone suggested that the baby powder could be creating a paste with the moisture and sticking to her skin, so we stopped powdering.  Someone suggested a post diaper change air dry and we did that. Then we started trying out every diaper cream known to man. One stood out from the rest, but as soon as she cleared up and we stopped using it, the rash was back. This was when I had a big discovery... The sensitive wipes were apparently not sensitive enough. We switched to a non chlorine wipe and the only diaper rash we encountered after that was during teething.

Along came William, followed by the diaper rash. Right away I switched wipes and it was gone again. Now I've switched diapers as well and could not be happier. Here are the baby skin and bottom half products we love:

First the red butt changing wipes. Naty by Nature Babycare. These took a bit of getting used to but I can sometimes use just one wipe to clean up a #2. That's a big deal.

Seventh Generation Diapers are my new favorite. They are kind of a khaki color, which was weird for a couple of days, but besides the fact that they are awesome for baby skin and better for the environment, you also don't have to look at a huge elmo every time you see your baby's back side. Nothing against Elmo, I just like a plain diaper. As far as absorbency I have had zero leaks and zero blow outs. 

If you do end up with a diaper rash issue from teething or food sensitivity, I have not found ANYTHING that works as well and as fast as Dr Smith's diaper rash ointment. I know it's a lot more fun to say "I use Boudreax's Butt Paste" than "I love Dr Smith's Ointment" but I can't say enough good things about this product. 

Every night for over two years I have shellacked Aquaphor on my oldest child after her bath. It's greasy and has no smell (I love a good baby smelling product), but every time I stop using it, her eczema starts to come back.  This is also great for pretty much every skin ailment and can be used for diaper rash. 

Welcome to the California Baby section of this post. I love all of their products. The California Baby Super Sensitive Cream is my number one after bath cream, used with our youngest and keeps him moisturized for 24 full hours. 

California Baby Super Sensitive Shampoo and Body Wash is the only body wash that we can use every day without skin issues. 

We have mosquito issues on the Gulf Coast and California Baby Bug Repellent Spray is amazing for tiny babies and sensitive skin kids. That being said, if you are walking outside and being swarmed, you will need something stronger. This does the trick, but not when things are REALLY bad. During those times I would rather deal with a one day rash from mosquito spray than a week of mosquito bites healing. 

And my guilty pleasure that has nothing to do with sensitive skin: Johnson's Baby Shampoo. The smell of this shampoo just makes me happy. Everything else with a smell causes skin issues, but three times a week we wash hair with this and it's enough to keep me smell happy. 

The Great Halloween Candy Switch - Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies

Let's get this out of the way first... I love candy. I love candy too much. I have probably tried it all, I still have my guilty candy pleasures and I also have about four filled cavities that back me up. For me, this is kind of a "do as I say, not as I do" type of thing. With all of the things you read about artificial color and your child's brain, corn syrup made with genetically modified corn, and all that other fun junk, I would prefer for my kid to not eat 4 lbs of candy. She can keep a few things to enjoy, but I made a plan for the rest. 

I REALLY love the Switch Witch. It's on almost every mom blog I follow and the whole premise is that your kids pick about 10 pieces of candy to keep and then put the rest on the front porch before they go to bed. During the night the "Switch Witch" visits, taking their candy and leaving behind a present for them. I think next year this will be genius, but this year I don't know if Landon can fully grasp the concept to be ok with the fact that her candy is on the front porch and someone is coming to get it. I guess what I am doing is maybe a simple version of this.

I picked something L loves and it was a toss up between chocolate chip cookies and cupcakes. In the end, I found a great recipe for Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies on 100 Days of Real Food and the horrible weather was a great opportunity to make cookies together this morning in anticipation of all the junk tonight.

cookie monster

I made a few changes to the recipe after reading the comments and they turned out DELICIOUS. I don't know if I have ever made cookies this good. The Whole Wheat Flour really gives the cookie a bit of a nutty flavor. There's more to it. They are a little bit cakey, but in a fluffy way, not a dense way. At the end of the night, Landon can trade her candy for some cookies. Still a great treat, I just know exactly what went into them!

100 Days of Real Food's Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies

Makes 16-20 cookies (just enough to not “over-indulge”

Ingredients

• ⅔ cup whole-wheat flour, pastry or white winter wheat recommended
• ½ cup white flour (or can use all whole-wheat instead) *I used all whole wheat
• ½ teaspoon baking soda
• ¼ teaspoon salt *I used a bit more salt to sprinkle on top of the dough before it went in the oven
• 1 stick butter (8 tablespoons), slightly colder than room temperature
• 1 egg
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• ¼ cup white sugar
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• ¾ cup chocolate chips *I used a cup of milk chocolate chips

Instructions (From 100 Days of Real Food)

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
2. In a small bowl, mix together the dry ingredients with a hand-held whisk including the flour, baking soda, and salt.
3. In a large, separate bowl use an electric mixer to cream the butter. The butter is the KEY ingredient in this recipe and for best results it must be “slightly” colder than room temperature. I usually take my stick of butter out of the fridge and let it sit on the counter for a half hour or so before making the cookies. If your butter gets too soft/warm you can alternatively chill the cookie batter after mixing everything together.
4. Add the egg, both sugars, and vanilla to butter until well mixed. Scrape sides of bowl as necessary.
5. With the electric mixer on low, add the flour mixture (in batches) to the butter mixture.
6. With a large spatula stir in the chocolate chips.
7. If you have time, and for the very best results, it is recommended that you chill the batter for 10 – 15 minutes before putting the cookies in the oven (even if your butter was the perfect temperature!).
8. Put spoonfuls of batter on an ungreased cookie sheet and bake for 7 – 9 minutes. Transfer cookies to a cooling rack. *I noticed my cookies took at least 9 minutes, two of the three batches took 10 minute.

I know some of you reading this are like LAME and I get it. But this works for us and L is a much better kid on a regular diet of actual fruits, vegetables, dairy and proteins with an occasional treat. Halloween is just OVERLOAD. That being said we are handing out every kind of treat you could imagine, chemicals and all. I don't want to get egged. 

Happy Halloween!

RT

Here's Something REALLY Easy to Cook... because Kids are Hard to do

Hey there! How was your summer? I didn't do much really, just spent a few months being pregnant and the last three trying to keep my head above water with a newborn and a two year old. People tell you it's hard going from one child to two, and I expected it to be. What I didn't expect was for the newborn to be the easier part. Sure, babies cry and mine wanted to nurse every two hours for the first 8 weeks (I'm pretty sure he was hiding a stop watch in his crib), but what was hardest in our world was trying to manage the big changes that the baby made in our family life & L's routine. Three weeks in she realized that when I was nursing I couldn't get up and stop her from doing things. A week after that I figured out how to run while nursing. This is life now. Constant one upsmanship... With more wine.

We are hungry.... feed both of us. NOW. And again in an hour.

I won't make some big announcement like "I'M BACK! LET THE BLOGGING FLOW!" I'm just saying here I am today. And tomorrow everyone in my house might get a cold and I"ll be gone for a month, but maybe I won't be. Maybe I can learn how to have conversations with adults again. Maybe I can sing and dance soon without someone telling me that it is their turn to sing and dance and I am not allowed to. Maybe I can finally get the Caillou theme song out of my head and MAYBE, if I'm lucky, the characters on Sid the Science Kid will start to be less annoying. The last three months of nursing have been brought to me by PBS Kids (and Endless Alphabet on the iPad). If you have any programming questions, please direct them my way. 

I had to blog today because I found something SO EASY to cook you pretty much have to make it as soon as possible. I cannot stand it when someone tells you they have an easy slow cooker recipe and  it starts out like this: "chop your meat into 40 pieces that measure exactly one inch square. Get out a pan and brown the meat for 90 seconds on each side. In another pan mix together these five ingredients." If you tell me I am making an EASY slow cooker recipe, I want to put some things in a slow cooker and press a button. Not half cook an entire meal and THEN put it in the slow cooker for 8 hours. Let's minimize the dishes here. 

I follow the blog 100 Days of Real Food in my facebook feed and sometime last week a recipe for Pork Carnitas popped up. The woman who runs the blog only eats non processed food, so she makes her own tortillas and salsa and I think that is wonderful. I read it for inspiration. I don't have time right now to go out and buy a tortilla press and make my own salsa. These days if I put in my contacts and take off my yoga pants I'm really proud of myself. Here is her recipe that we used and made a few minor tweaks to. When I get used to this whole "having two kids" thing, I will definitely go back and make her salsa and maybe even make my own tortillas. Someone send me a tortilla press!

I didn't take any picture of our actual carnitas, but they looked exactly like this.

 Slow Cooker Pork Carnitas

• 2 to 2 ½ lbs pork shoulder or Boston butt roast, cut into 5 or 6 small pieces (Have your butcher do this for you to make it extra easy)
• 3 teaspoons dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons black pepper
• 1 teaspoon salt (we used 2 teaspoons of kosher salt)
• ½ teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 onion, cut into 6 or 8 chunks (I used three small onions)
• 3 garlic cloves, whole (I used 5. We love garlic)
• 2-4 Limes
• 1 recipe tomatillo salsa (or you can buy some in the salsa section of your store. Our salsa was bad so we didn't end up using any. Still delish)
• Corn Tortillas
• 2 avocados, sliced
• Fresh cilantro

If you are getting your pork shoulder from the butcher, ask him to cut it into five or six small pieces FOR YOU. They will do it and it's one less step for you. The butcher is your best friend, use him. 

Mix up the oregano, pepper, salt and cumin in a bowl. Coat the pork pieces with the seasoning and put them in the bottom of your slow cooker. 

Cut the onion (or onions) into chunks and drop them on top. Peel the garlic cloves and put them on top. Put on the cover and set the timer for 6-8 hours on low. We did 7 hours and left it on warm for another hour after. 

When you are ready remove the pork from the slow cooker, discard the onions and garlic. Shred the pork with two forks (or with your fingers if you don't mind getting messy). 

We warmed up the corn tortillas in a pan on the grill, sliced fresh avocado from our Farmhouse Delivery and chopped some cilantro to go on top.

When I opened up our Tomatillo Salsa I noticed there was mold on the cap. Things like this happen when you have tiny children who require shortcut taking in other areas. In place we cut some limes into wedges and squeezed them on top of the tacos. SO GOOD. 

If you are using store bought corn tortillas I recommend doubling up. Two tortillas per taco. It holds the food better and tastes better in my opinion.

Seriously, this recipe meets the golden recipe trifecta: 1. EASY  2. INEXPENSIVE  3. DELICIOUS.  And the added bonus of making your house smell amazing while it cooks.

Here's to food and kids! Kids need to eat food so they kind of go together.

-RT

"Mommy Happy" - Our Potty Training Success! (Part 3)

Who knew this was going to be a three parter? Not me. BUT I felt like I needed to come back around to this after being kind of brutally honest about how awful it was and let you know how it is now (on day 12). 

Part 1

Part 2

Here's where I am:

Was it awful? 

Yes. But unless you think it's awesome to sit in the bathroom for a day or to watch your child constantly for a weekend with no pants, then it's just another necessary evil. Do you enjoy cleaning up pee and poo? If so, professional potty training could be for you. You will LOVE IT!

I could not be more honest when telling you that the first four days of potty training fall right behind infant reflux, crying it out and two year molars on my list of least favorite parenting experiences. The bonus of potty training is that I feel like we are both succeeding and it hasn't even been two weeks yet. My mistake... someone's clever marketing campaign convinced me this would take less than a day. Jerks. 

Do I regret the timing?

No. I don't. In my last post I said that if I wouldn't have been pregnant I would have waited, but I completely take that back now. I think that you face difficulties with your children potty training no matter what age they are. They are just different difficulties. Some are the exact same. I think at her age, L is much more open to listening to me and taking my direction and that works for me. She really wants to use the potty because it makes me happy and that makes her happy. If only things could stay this way through the teenage years...

What is happening now?

On Sunday (day 10 since our bathroom boot camp) we didn't have a single accident all day, even during her nap. She was also into the routine of sitting on the potty this day and stopped fighting us. It became a natural part of her day. Yesterday we went to the zoo in the morning with our portable potty. She did an awesome job! This made me feel less like a prisoner to potty training. That was something I had a hard time with at first. 

What worked for us?

Let's get this straight... I am the opposite of a potty training expert. I have NO idea what will work for you, BUT here are some things that really worked for us. I'll remember them next time around.

1. Consistency

We put on big girl panties and we did not look back. I think you can get away with diapers at naps and nights (we still do them at night) but going back and forth between diapers and panties (after you have made the choice to really train) seems confusing. We dropped swim diapers except in public pools. L was still confused about why she was getting a diaper at night, but we just let her know that when she goes to sleep, she wears a sleep diaper. She wasn't super satisfied with that answer, but I'm not ready to clean up night time messes yet. 

We also tried to be consistent with our directions. The first week, if we told her she needed to go sit on the potty, she was going to sit on the potty. We had some knock down drag outs about it, but we wanted to get it through to her that if we asked her to sit on the potty she needed to go and try, or at least just listen to us and sit for the length of a song or to read a book. This part was trying for a few days when she would resist, but we would try and distract her with her favorite songs, etc. The point of this was so later (like even this week) she wouldn't fight us when we asked her to sit on the potty before we left the house or after we got back. If she sits down and goes it's a big bonus, but if she sits down for 20 seconds and says she doesn't have to go, then we listen to her and move on. She has to sit on the potty 1. after waking up 2. before her nap 3. after her nap 4. before her bath (after dinner) 5. after she brushes her teeth (right before bed). If we leave the house she has to sit on the potty before we leave and after we get back. Other than that, I just check in with her throughout the day and keep an eye on how long it has been since her last trip. 

2. Staying Positive (when possible)

Sometimes it's not possible (like when I was locked out of the house) but if I ever got frustrated I tried to walk away. I wasn't perfect, but keeping everything positive really took the pressure off of her. This doesn't mean they are off the hook. When she has an accident L changes her own underwear and if there is a mess on the floor, she "helps" clean up. I say this within reason because there are certain messes that would just be made messier. But it's just a kind of matter of fact thing. We had an accident, so we have to help clean it up and next time, try to make it to the potty. The end. I think making accidents a non event wouldn't work for her, so we talk about it and have some actions she has to take associated with it. 

3. Starting to Trust Her

This is for when the time is right. We have our set potty times, but at other times I will ask her if she needs to go to the potty and if she tells me she doesn't (almost every time), I listen to her. I also keep an eye on the clock, but she likes to feel like she has a little bit of control and this gives that to her. The difference is, when I think she needs to go, I tell her we are going to the potty. When I'm just checking in, I ask her if she needs to go.

4.  Staying Flexible

Every day I'm learning something new about this process. She is still very impatient about waiting for number two, so I've pulled out all of the stops to get her to sit and wait when I know she needs to. Sometimes I let her pick a reward if she asks for one. A sticker, a dance party (so embarrassing please no one ever walk in on this), or a little piece of a treat. She woke up at 12:30am this morning to tell me she had to go potty. Why can't she do this at 10am.... I'm not really sure. But she did have to go and then she had to go straight back to bed. I know that the same things might not work every time, but knowing that is helpful for me. I think not knowing that potty training was going to be a process instead of a day long event was what really made it difficult for me in the beginning. Now, we go with the flow (or lack of flow). 

My new favorite potty training items:

Fisher Price 2-in-1 Portable Training Potty

L is not excited about public toilets, but little bladders need to go a lot more often. This has been perfect! We used it prior as a seat for the big potty at our house (and still do) and take just the top to other houses for play dates and she uses it perfectly. The whole potty sets up easily and you have to carry a larger bag for a while, but it works for her so easily and THAT makes my life easier. I will withhold the photo I took of her using it in the zoo bathroom and in the back of the car. Stay classy future wedding slideshow.

Gerber Waterproof Pants

If peace of mind came in a pack of underpants covers, it would look like this. We use them over her big girl panties during naps and even when her underwear was soaked, these kept it all contained and the bed was dry. For longer errand runs or the hour long drive to my parent's house, I put them on and don't have to stress about cleaning pee off of the carseat cover or her clothes or whatever else. These were life changing. And they have them at Target.

Thick Training Pants

Think about those nice, thick burp cloths that had the trifold and then turn them into underwear. These are SO great. They absorb so much for accidents that it will keep your floor or the child's pants from being completely soaked. They might still be wet, but not AS wet. They are also supportive, but can stretch enough for L to pull them up and down. I got her the true size according to her weight and worried that I should have gone a size up for her ease of use, but they are perfect. It's a good transition and because they are heavy duty they can take all of the washing that comes along with this process. Target also carries these. 

Potty Wipes

We use the generic HEB brand from our local grocery store, but these are a must for #2 and you aren't supposed to flush regular baby wipes (who knew?) so it will save your plumbing. 

So here we are. Still working toward our end goal, but I can tell you I'm happy that we have gone through this. She was definitely ready and I think I was the hangup. After your child is ready, you should just take the time to figure out when you are. Because both of you need to be. I would say that you should pick a time when you feel blissfully happy with your child and your life, that way when everything goes downhill, you won't already be in a bad mood about it. But really, what do I know? So glad we are over the hump and moving along. So let's officially cut the crap.... This will be the last dedicated potty post. I am actually cooking this week. Rejoice!

Wave goodbye to all of this poop and pee! 

Bye bye.

-RT

Part 1

Part 2

"Mommy Tired" Real Life Potty Training (Part 2)

Philosotoddler questions everything...

 If you missed Part 1 of this harrowing tale, you can read it HERE and then come back. 

Where are we? Oh yes, L had locked me out of the house with nothing but yoga pants, a tee shirt, and an apron filled with snacks. I had just realized that our spare key was missing. She made note that I was "sad" and then I decided to try all of the doors and windows. Surely I left one open, except I knew I didn't. With S out of town I was on full security lock down, but I tried anyway because I had to do something. The house was locked up tight. As I walked from door to door to window, L followed me around the house. Mommy sure does play some fun games. I saw that she was ok and then walked next door to see if I could use my neighbor's phone. 

Since it's not 1960 anymore, pretty much every neighbor on my block was at work, but the couple next door were literally in their car about to leave and I ran like a crazy barefoot pregnant person to flag them down. I called S to task him with finding someone with a key to our house to come and assist me. Wrapped that convo up with my neighbors staring at me, and headed back to the back door to sit and cry. Because I really wasn't sure what else to do and this was probably one of the worst half days I have ever had.

They didn't have one with a picture of me locked out of the house

 L was waiting for me there and helpful little girl that she is, she had found a set of keys! Too bad I really just needed her to turn a lock. I got another "mommy sad" and then watched her try to put the keys in the deadbolt. I thought about breaking in a door. I tried to break in a door. Then I tried to break in another door. Yes, I am still pregnant here, but I'm not handicapped. But I am also apparently not good at breaking in doors. I just settle back in to wait for whatever hero is hopefully coming to save me and keep and eye on L. Since I don't have anything else going on, I try to get her to turn the lock. About five minutes later, she does. POTTY TRAINING MIRACLE. My excitement about this trumps all feigned excitement about pee pee in the potty. She has now seen right through me. We change into dry panties and get set for a PBJ. Like clockwork my father in law shows up with his key and was really nice about the fact that I have NO IDEA where our spare key is.

There has never been a nap time as sweet as this nap time. We put the rubber pants on over her big girl panties, I put the Ultimate Crib Sheet on top of her normal sheet, and minimized the amount of bed time props to the number I was comfortable cleaning pee or poop off of. And then I sighed.... and sat on the couch completely zoned out for two hours. Sweet, sweet, nap time. Precious in every way.

Besides zoning out I also thought through the morning and what was working and what wasn't. I decided we were going back into the bathroom to play with blocks and I was just going to set the timer to have her sit on the potty every 20 minutes. She woke up with mostly dry underwear that we switched out anyway and then moved back into the bathroom. When the next accident happened we did the ten "practice" rounds and she still thought they were the worst thing in her tiny life and I thought maybe that's a good thing. If she knows she has to practice after an accident and she doesn't like to practice then that might be the key to encourage her to hold it for the potty. And hold it she did...

Going back to the blog the author spoke about how after 20 minutes she would sit with her daughter on the potty until she peed because she just couldn't stand missing it and having an accident. I understood this. It made sense. Then an hour later we were once again sitting and waiting for pee. Singing songs and waiting for pee.... drinking juice out of lots and lots of different and interesting cups and waiting for pee..... doing flash cards and waiting for pee.... reading the same damn Bert and Ernie book of Opposites over and over again........ waiting for pee.

Juice tastes better out of a fisher price tea cup with a face

 This is when I started to curse via text. The texts looked like this:

"This is so fu***ng funny at this point. But she might be going now. She just called the potty her house."

This is pretty much the theme of the remainder of the afternoon. Sitting and waiting for pee. A line of the blog post was keeping me going at this point... "you can do almost anything for just one day" but I was really coming to terms with the fact that the dream of one day potty training was going to be a myth in our case. I was sitting on the bathroom floor staring at a bored toddler who was sitting on the potty holding her pee in. I put my head down on the side of the bathtub. Then I hear "mommy tired." She is nothing if not observant.

When it was time to eat dinner I could not have been more happy to leave the bathroom behind, even if it meant I had to clean up any possible accidents. The meal went well. It was not super healthful but at this point I was in survival mode. We sat down together while she ate and I would check in with her on if her panties were still dry. Sometimes she would stare at me or give me her people pleasing, high pitch, sing songy "YES" that has become one of my favorites this week. 

After dinner.... back to the bathroom. I was in this to win it or die trying (a real possibility at this point). More of the same. Sitting and waiting. And after a successful pee I shut this program down. Get in the bath... mommy is done potty training you today. Suzy (the potty training prop doll) needed a bath as well, so she jumped in and they had fun practicing the high dive off of the soap dish (Suzy, not Landon). This bath was the silver lining of my day. God knew I needed one.

Jump Suzy! "I got you!"

 I can say, without a doubt, the best diaper I ever put on a baby was the night time diaper that went on Landon the first day of potty training. It was like a pressure release button or some form of diaper xanax. After her bed time I had a good almost hour long chat sesh with a friend and S showed up later that night from the airport with flowers and raspberry sorbet. We picked up calzones for dinner. Magic.

Warning: the rest of this might not be interesting if you don't have kids. And it might not be interesting if you do have kids, but I thought I would let you know how the rest of the week went.

From here the days went as follows:

Day 2:
Overall theme:
SO THANKFUL to have S home helping. I woke up sore from sitting on the bathroom floor for hours and probably also from trying to break in the back doors.

How did she do:
L had more accidents this day, probably because we moved out of the bathroom and there were more life distractions.

What did we do:
We lived by the timer again this day, setting it for about every 25 or 30 minutes. When she had an accident we would have her check her underwear to see if they were wet or dry. Then she would help clean up the mess and we followed up with the practice going to the potty ten times. After practicing she would take off her wet panties by herself and put them in the hamper. Then put on a new dry pair and check them to make sure they were dry.

When I cried:
We tried the line of questioning again to make sure she understood the process and she once again was so eager to please that she just repeated and tried for what she wanted you to hear. This was kind of heart breaking at this point and also frustrating because she was doing EVERYTHING and knew the answers, but wouldn't say them. Pregnancy hormones...

What changed:
After this day we stopped doing the potty practice for accidents. I don't think I am an overly sensitive parent, but it was just basically making her feel awful and even though we were trying to be upbeat, it wasn't very productive having her cry through the whole thing. She also was holding in her #2 and we thought this would help relieve some pressure.

Day 3:
Overall Theme:
The day of mother guilt overload. I almost quit this day, even though the memory of how hard the first two days had been was fresh.

How did she do:
One accident in the morning, holding in everything, and scared to poop.

What did we do:
We set the timer for every 30 minutes, but she was very resistant about going #1 and about sitting on the potty. We tried to make everything super positive and brought back food rewards for her completion of the full potty process (from pulling down the pants to flushing). I was grasping at straws here.

When I cried:
Prior to this process L was regular 3 times a day. I knew she was holding and scared to have an accident and I felt awful about it. She told me "tummy hurts" and I wanted to strap a diaper on her SO badly, but I knew it was a decision that S and I had to make together. The mother guilt was just out of control.

What changed:
It was Sunday night and I questioned everything. I was ready to go back to diapers for the foreseeable future and do whatever necessary to make my child do #2. S pointed out that we had one more day of both of us at home and we should see how it went. I decided at this point to give up a lot of caring. To no longer care about accidents, to make her sit on the potty for an amount of time, but if she said she didn't have to go, to listen to her and trust her (within reason). Basically we got super positive about the potty and life.

Day Four:
Overall theme:
The turning point.

How did she do:
She pooped in the potty and I've never been happier to clean up crap. The only accident she had was while we were outside and it was a good one. She started to pee and stopped herself and told us. We went inside to the potty and she finished. Put her undies and shorts in the dirty clothes and put on a new pair.

What did we do:
We tried to have a normal day. We didn't live by the timer, we took her to the potty when we thought she might need to go. We removed the pressure. S took her to the park and she held it until she got home.

I stopped crying this day. So glad we pushed through.

What changed:
My outlook. I saw that this was working and felt real confirmation for the first time that she was really really ready to do this.

The Rest:
Things have been going well. I knew I needed to write this blog post soon because the potty training amnesia was already setting in. It was so vivid how awful the first day was and now just a few days later, it isn't really. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to do this again. I mean, I will have to with other children, but each child gets one of these. Because GEEZ. For real. It is still the effing worst.

She has not had a totally accident free day yet, but #2 seems to be our only issue at this point. As long as she is going once a day I don't care if it's in her underwear or the potty. She is getting it and that is HUGE.

I know there will be set backs and I think I'm ready for them. We are trying to establish some set times where we sit on the potty, even if she doesn't go. Every morning after she wakes up, before we leave the house, before her nap, after her nap, before her bath, and after she brushes her teeth. This seems like a lot, but I just want her to get used to the idea of sitting and trying at certain times. Toddler steps.

When we have ventured out she has been great at holding it. I tried to have her go in the bathroom at Target... not happening. I mean, I don't want to go there, so why should she? This is when my mom gave me an amazing idea... the waterproof panties I had been using for nap time I could just slip over her underwear when we were on the go. Saving the car seat and me or any other objects (grocery cart) that might be under her. This gives me a new level of peace of mind. I still now travel with two changes of clothes and underwear.

I don't know at this point what I would do differently, but I'm sure that I screwed this thing up. I don't think the one day potty training is a myth, I think that it wasn't really the best plan for L and I was maybe not the best at the implementation. I think a good plan of action if you want to potty train is to look into a few methods and give yourself time to prepare. I don't know if I would have introduced the potty at all before I was ready to fully train. I think the fact that we had a potty but no real routine for a while before attempting full training set us back.

If I were not pregnant right now I think an ideal time for potty training would have been labor day weekend. It would have given her language development a little more time and maybe she would have answered the questions about the process. Really, who the hell knows? Maybe it would have been the exact same. It's like a necessary evil and I'm slowly getting back to living my life.

Dry panty check.

 How did I do this without cocktails? I said the eff word a lot (not to L), I have a great husband who did it with me, I have an amazing mom to make me not feel crazy, and I have killer friends. And I said the eff word a lot.

Adios diapers... hello self induced toddler constipation.

It's been a long one. Thanks for sticking around for the ride,

-RT

Part 3

"Mommy Sad"... The True Story of my Potty Training Journey (Part 1)

Gather round and dim the lights... I'm about to tell you a scary story. Maybe you saw this post and you thought for a half a second "OH, Becky is going to talk about food again FINALLY." But I'm not. (Did you see the title?) I have not had a food loving pregnancy this time around. When I am in a food mood I cook things that are my standby foods. Most of them we have already gone over. I'll make a valiant effort to do some good blogs before little boy is born in 6.5 weeks, then I'll fall off again and probably talk more about newborns and toddlers and maybe you'll forgive me. Once again... this is not a post about food.

Today, May 28, 2013... Potty Training Day 5. Except I wasn't home for this day. So I think it went pretty well. Maybe the best day of potty training so far. I only sat on the bathroom floor once. Progress.

What I am going to tell you here is maybe a cautionary tale... maybe it's a tragedy... maybe it's a comedy.... I'm hoping it will be an introduction to success. I haven't made a final determination yet. It is, after all, only day 5. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start... (Sound of Music reference)

Our potty training journey began when daughter was about 19 or 20 months old. We bought a potty for her to "get used to" and she used it every night before her bath. Then, if we could catch her, we would end up with a #2 in the potty every other day or so. I quickly decided that while the bath time potty break was a no brainer, staring at my child wondering if she was about to poop so I could run her to the potty wasn't very fun. So we decided to lay off until her vocabulary increased and the big move to undies was made. 

Fast forward to her 2 year check at the Dr and he tells me that she is very vocal and probably ready to potty train. And I was all "yay, great. Thanks so much Doc!" and secretly I'm like EFFFFF. Because you make a lot of judgments about parents before becoming one and then you find out they were mostly all wrong. Except my one judgement that was proving right: a lot of parents put off potty training because it's a son of a bitch. This is what I was doing. Unfortunately my putting off options weren't looking good. 1) I knew I would need heavy support for as long as possible starting this process 2) I figured a three day weekend was good timing 3) 32 weeks and I am not getting any less pregnant and 4) a newborn can't really give you a break for a day so you can do some intense one on one potty training. Memorial Day Weekend 2013. My fate was set. Then I did what I do best, I brainwashed myself into thinking this would be easy.

A while ago a friend had posted a link to a blog post about potty training in one day. She swore by this method and used it to train her daughter when she was around the same age as daughter is now (just over 2 years). Another friend potty trained her daughter when she was almost 2 with the naked bottoms for three days method. When comparing three days to one, I decided to go with one. I dove into the blog post, read through the comments and took mental notes of everything. One of the comments discussed the book that the one day method was kind of a modern hybrid of, and this book said it would take me EVEN LESS THAN ONE DAY so I was extra sold. The less time I have to do this, the better. I printed out the blog post, ordered the book and started to read/plan.

The things the Blog & Book said I would need:

A Potty Chair or Stool and Seat for the Big Potty

This is ours

A "Doll that Wets" (much harder to find than you thought)

We already have a dog named Annie in the family, so we changed her name to Suzy.

Training Panties

Gerber Brand was nice and thick

Waterproof Pants Covers (for naps and nights)

We used for naps, still diapers for nights

A "People Who Care" Chart

If by "chart" they mean printed photos of people who L likes to talk about, then I was spot on.

A Variety of Beverages to Water Your Child

Sweet and Salty Foods to Stimulate Their Thirst

I got all of the "junk" food at Whole Foods. To make myself feel better.

Special Treats (to be used as Rewards/Bribery)

Yes, this is a lame treat, but L loved it and it made me feel not as bad

An Apron with a Pocket to Hold Special Treats

32 Weeks Pregnant in an regular Apron is not this cute

Something to Clean Up Accidents

Some Sort of Not Super Distracting Activity (This was my back up emergency plan and I picked blocks)

Under $20 at Target. Easy

Kitchen Timer

Additional items I advise having after going through this process:

1. A strong marriage. Seriously. If you are going to go through this with your spouse you better like each other because it will be really easy not to when accidents happen on someone else's watch or potty training philosophies start being called into question. Lucky for me after one day alone I was so happy to have S there that I almost didn't care what he was doing.

2. A pillow to sit on in the bathroom. I didn't think about this until the next day.

3. Try to not be pregnant so you can have cocktails. After or maybe during if you need it. I think cocktails and potty training were really meant to be together. Sad for me....

4. A spare key hidden outside of your home (more on this later).

5. A good friend who you can text when things are getting ridiculous. Lucky for me I had two.

6. Bathroom mats that can be thrown in the washing machine.

7. An endless amount of patience or a pill (one that provides an endless amount of patience).

8. Someone who won't let you quit. A spouse, a friend, a parent.... someone to be your rock when your are ready to run to the store and buy a six month supply of diapers.

9. Take out. There is no way in hell you will want to cook dinner after day one. And probably not after day two. Spoiler alert... it took us more than one day.

10. Stain spray. For stains.

So this post is not about how to potty train. I am not qualified to really give that advice. Although I do find a lot of people who have not potty trained their child yet offer lots of advice to you when you embark on this journey. I wish them luck. A few people did say to me that L was too young or "so young" or things like that. I'll come back around to this later, but the truth is, she is capable and her pediatrician told me she was ready two months before I started trying. This is not a judgement. Honestly if I felt like I would have had a better opportunity later, I would have waited a little longer.

So D Day approached... I was doing my one on one day with L on Friday while S was still out of town for business. He was due back about 8pm that night. L woke up and we had a normal morning. I changed her diaper and made her a large and healthy breakfast since I was going to be feeding her juice, pop chips, peanut butter crackers, chocolate chip cookies, and other crap the rest of the day. Here is something food related: her breakfast consisted of whole wheat flax waffles, oatmeal, eggs, raspberries, and sliced banana. I wanted her to fill up as much as possible so I gave her a larger than normal breakfast with lots of variety.

After breakfast I got out all of my supplies and my notes. I turned on sesame street while I made myself a glass of tea and prepped the bathroom for my live in day. Then I got out L’s big girl panties and we had a chat about the potty. We got out Suzy the potty training doll. It was L’s job to teach Suzy how to use the potty. This is when she fell in love with Suzy and decided that it didn't matter if Suzy could potty or not, Suzy probably just needed a cuddle and a hug from her. Backfire. We taught Suzy anyway, then Suzy had her "accident" and we "practiced" going potty with her. More hugs and cuddles for Suzy.

Then we walked through the process with L. I was pumping her full of beverages at this point. On high rotation. She pulled her panties down, sat on the potty, went pee pee, we made a big deal, cleaned herself up, pulled up her panties (and big thanks to the book at this point) learned in one lesson how to lift the big potty lid, empty her little potty into the  big potty, close the lid and flush. After the flush we had a big celebration, ate a cookie, and sat to talk some more about the potty and how this whole thing worked.

A HUGE part of the process from the book was learning through her acknowledgments that she was understanding the steps and what was going on. So you ask questions like "where do we pee pee?" and your child is supposed to point to or say "potty" and other things like that. You also ask them to check to make sure they are dry. Enter frustration number one. L is great at following directions, but as a tiny people pleaser, she would most like to tell you what you want to hear. When she isn't sure what you want to hear, she just repeats what you have said back to her. This is how my day was going:

me: "L, where do we go pee pee?"

L: "where do we go pee pee?" (shrugs shoulders, stares at me)

me: "we go pee pee in the potty, right? Where is the potty?"

L: "where is the potty?" (puts arms in air, looks around theatrically)

me: "L, you know where the potty is, can you tell mommy"

L: "tell mommy potty" (smiles)

me: "no L, show mommy where the potty is"

L: "L show mommy potty" (stares at me, nods, then smiles)

me: "L, do you have dry panties?"

L: "dry panties?"

me: "feel your panties, are they wet or are they dry?"

L: (looks at me) "wet or dry?"

 me: (takes her hand to feel her behind) "Can you tell mommy if this is wet or dry?"

L: "tell mommy... wet or dry!" (smiles, nods head)

While sounding incredibly cute, this was actually insanely frustrating. Especially since we took time prior to training to learn all of these things, so I knew she knew. But moving on..... Time to sit on the potty again. Another #1 (how could she not at this point, I am literally FILLING her with juice) and she completes all of the steps after up to the flushing and I'm like, obviously she gets this. We have been in the bathroom for 2 hours. She looks around the bathroom and announces to me "L all done." I try to reason with her (reasoning with a toddler, clearly I am on a bad road here) and she loses it. I'm trying to stick to the book and I'm like "L we have to stay in the bathroom so we can potty like a big girl, blah blah etc blah" and she is all "NO, no potty" and makes for the door in a helpless fury and I cave and go for the blocks. This is when I start giving up on the book and going for the blog.

In the bathroom, hour three.

 Blocks are cool. They serve their purpose as a new toy and we have some fun building towers. Then we have the first accident and we follow the book/blog and practice going potty ten times back and forth afterward. The blog said something like "your child might think this is a funny game, but then it will just click". My child thought this was the most torturous experience of her life after the fifth "practice". I was pretty sure I was being upbeat and positive. Each "practice" starts with "no pee pee on the floor, pee pee in the potty" and then you run fast from the spot of the accident (and then other spots all over the house) to the potty and quickly lower pants, sit, stand, do over. The only turning point this brought about for me was the turning point of L being scared to death of peeing on the floor and doing something wrong. So she decided it was a good time to hold her pee. 

Around this time I sent the following text to my friend:

"The. Worst. Thing. Ever. This.     Hate. My. Life. Today."

I went for the blog philosophy again and got out the kitchen timer. She was apparently supposed to go every 15 to 20 minutes. Her beverage selection looked like this:

She held it.

I ran the bath, I put her hands in warm water, I tried every sleepover trick in the book aside from bra freezing. She held it. Then I sent this text:

"How has this child been sitting on the potty for an HOUR and not peed? Where is all of this juice going?"

After about an hour and a half I decided we were both hungry and could use some lunch. We head to the kitchen. I noticed there were a few little sugar ants near the door, so opened the back door to spray the walk. Then I heard L close the door behind me. No big deal. When I turned around to go back in, she had turned the lock. She doesn't know what turning the lock is. This was a first time experience for us. She stares at me through the french door and smiles. Hilarious. Pregnant, barefoot, wearing yoga pants, a white tee, and an apron (with snacks in the pockets) I head to the garage for the spare key. Too bad it isn't there.

I walk back to the door to contemplate my next move and not freak out. There is my child smiling at me with wet panties and a puddle of pee on the floor. I look at her, she looks at me and I hear her through the door... "mommy sad."

Hey, she finally got one right!

Obviously potty training is too much for one post, so I'll leave you with a cliff hanger... to recap, I'm outside barefoot with no phone and no key, but I am wearing a snappy apron filled with snacks. Landon is inside covered in pee. Could this day get any better?

-RT

Quick Link to Part Two

Questions I ask Google: Lullaby Edition

It's a crazy Friday night so I thought I would ask Google a question. I like to do that from time to time, because Google knows things and I like things and knowledge. I just put L down for the night and had lullabies on my mind and I thought... why is Rock-a-bye Baby SO insanely scary. Hello my child, let me soothe you to sleep with a story about a baby resting in a cradle that was hung on a tree branch. The wind is softly rocking the baby back and forth... so soothing. BUT WAIT, the wind is picking up. It's getting dangerous. All of the sudden the branch breaks causing the baby (and subsequently the cradle) to fall to the ground. Now rest up! 

Watch the f out baby. Bad things are about to happen!

 Key facts:

1. Origins seem to be with Mother Goose (that evil fowl) in 1765

2. The earliest recorded version of the words in print appeared with a footnote, "This may serve as a warning to the Proud and Ambitious, who climb so high that they generally fall at last."

And then there are about 5 other possible answers that may or may not be correct. Wikipedia doesn't pick favorites. Some have to do with a hidden political reference to the Stuart heir in England and the protestant reformation. SO smart right now. The one that I think makes the most sense is that it was more of a nursery rhyme (a la "ring around the rosy") that was used in a game where you would toss a child "about" and then have them pretend fall at the end. I think I like that one best because it's easy and semi friendly. My kind of theory. 

For more useless and random information about Rock-a-bye Baby, click here.  For the record, I started writing this post before I discovered the answer to my question and I am slightly disappointed that it is not more dramatic and juicy.

-RT

A Whole New Kind of Party Hangover

Why is Two so Awesome? Because running in circles in the driveway is currently the best. The resulting fall? Not so cool.

It's official, we have a two year old. I feel that L really tried to make this official multiple times starting as early as 16 months, but really driving the point home around 20 months or so. We get it sweetheart, you're two. It is terrifying and hilarious and only terrible at times. Mostly it's hilarious. Hilarious Twos doesn't really sound as good though. The internet apparently is there for you if you are having a terrible time with the twos. Just google terrible twos and see how many helpful books and articles pop up. Internet parenting... it's the new TV parenting. Most books want to help you turn the terrible twos into the "terrific twos" and I'm kind of skeptical.. because I don't know if I've ever wanted to do anything labeled as "terrific".... Show me a book with a cute kid on the front that says "How to Have an Awesome Time with Your Two Year Old" and I'm buying one for all of us. A "terrific" time probably involves crafts that I am not crafty enough for and houses that are too clean. And for the sake of toddlers, don't put a damn screaming toddler on a toddler help book. I thought this would be common sense.

PUT A SMILING CHILD ON YOUR BOOK! You're welcome.

But let's stop talking about books I am never going to read. I prefer a trial and error approach and on bad days, I just take things one hour at a time. That and a little PBS kids seems to be the cure for any terrible two moments I can intercept. So let's talk about hangovers... it's been a while.

Before anyone calls social services, I am not having any alcohol related hangovers, this is a brand new kind of hangover. You thought that three day bender in New Orleans for Jazz Fest really left you in a bind with your French Quarter Cough and inability to work simple addiction? Yeah, that was fun and everything, but I am currently in recovery from the second birthday celebrations that sucked the life force out of me leaving a Becky shell filled with allergies and lots of saline spray. This morning (2 days post party) I laid in bed breathing through one nostril wondering if it was in any way possible to call in sick to life. It seems to be much more complicated when there is a child involved. Then I couldn't figure out who exactly I would call. 2 minutes later I was getting a good morning kiss from a milk cup wielding toddler who wanted to see what Curious George was up to. Not the worst way to get up in the morning. This would be part of the awesome twos. 

The house is still a mess, but the back yard is clean! I took the last bit of sugar filled bday treats to the office today and it will be sad tonight without a giant cupcake, but the tiny baby boy who is hanging out with me for the next 14 weeks or so will super appreciate this. I day dream about a time when I could decide that my daily activity would be catching up on an entire season of anything while staying in bed and only getting up to answer the door when the takeout arrived. But I really just want one of those days and I'll trade the season catch up for a kindle but I'm sticking with the takeout. 

What I failed to realize is that the bonus that should be included with a toddler birthday party is an entire day of bed rest accompanied by a cleaning crew. I'm into that. In a different scenario (the one where I am not pregnant) I would host a brunch in my dirty house the day after the birthday celebrations. I would supply some sort of breakfast (like tacos or egg mcmuffins) and plenty of champagne breakfast drinks and we could all clean my house together. Right? Couldn't we? Because there is always next year and maybe the theme of that party will be "Terrific and Tidy Three!" Bring your mops and brooms kids, because this party is going to get real. Real Terrific.

Here's a quick party recap and a good tip for future parent bday party picture takers. Following your child around taking pictures trying to "capture the magic" will only lead to about 40 pictures of the party featuring the back of your child's head. Also the side of the head and the top of the head. 

Unintended party attraction: Our illustrious cat, Senor don Gato.

Apparently "cake please" translates to "frosting NOW!"

Back for more concentrating on chocolate chip consumption and remaining frosting.

Making evil terrible two plans to dominate the world... and eat more cupcakes.

So call me crazy (most of you might have done this already) but I'm really excited about two. The last few weeks have definitely tested my patience and my sanity, and I see that there will be much more of that ahead. But it also seems that as the challenges get a little more challenging the rewards get much more rewarding. This amazing little personality is coming out. And sometimes that little personality has to go sit in time out for two minutes, but the rest is pretty hilarious. From what I have figured out so far, having a sense of humor about parenting is the way to go. A sense of humor and a really good first aid kit. For every ten minute long melt down (I swear it was at least 30 minutes long) at the grocery store because you have to ride in the green car and not the red car (this really happened yesterday) a couple of hours later you get to watch your daughter pushing her doll in a swing and giving it a blanket to "keep baby warm" while she chats with two dolls at the back door.  

Babysitting

Most party hangovers are the result of a great night or at least a few good stories... and my two year old birthday party hangover is no different. It is the result of a little stress, a messy house, a run down immune system, and more than enough fun to make it totally worth it. 

-RT