Gather round and dim the lights... I'm about to tell you a scary story. Maybe you saw this post and you thought for a half a second "OH, Becky is going to talk about food again FINALLY." But I'm not. (Did you see the title?) I have not had a food loving pregnancy this time around. When I am in a food mood I cook things that are my standby foods. Most of them we have already gone over. I'll make a valiant effort to do some good blogs before little boy is born in 6.5 weeks, then I'll fall off again and probably talk more about newborns and toddlers and maybe you'll forgive me. Once again... this is not a post about food.
Today, May 28, 2013... Potty Training Day 5. Except I wasn't home for this day. So I think it went pretty well. Maybe the best day of potty training so far. I only sat on the bathroom floor once. Progress.
What I am going to tell you here is maybe a cautionary tale... maybe it's a tragedy... maybe it's a comedy.... I'm hoping it will be an introduction to success. I haven't made a final determination yet. It is, after all, only day 5. Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start... (Sound of Music reference)
Our potty training journey began when daughter was about 19 or 20 months old. We bought a potty for her to "get used to" and she used it every night before her bath. Then, if we could catch her, we would end up with a #2 in the potty every other day or so. I quickly decided that while the bath time potty break was a no brainer, staring at my child wondering if she was about to poop so I could run her to the potty wasn't very fun. So we decided to lay off until her vocabulary increased and the big move to undies was made.
Fast forward to her 2 year check at the Dr and he tells me that she is very vocal and probably ready to potty train. And I was all "yay, great. Thanks so much Doc!" and secretly I'm like EFFFFF. Because you make a lot of judgments about parents before becoming one and then you find out they were mostly all wrong. Except my one judgement that was proving right: a lot of parents put off potty training because it's a son of a bitch. This is what I was doing. Unfortunately my putting off options weren't looking good. 1) I knew I would need heavy support for as long as possible starting this process 2) I figured a three day weekend was good timing 3) 32 weeks and I am not getting any less pregnant and 4) a newborn can't really give you a break for a day so you can do some intense one on one potty training. Memorial Day Weekend 2013. My fate was set. Then I did what I do best, I brainwashed myself into thinking this would be easy.
A while ago a friend had posted a link to a blog post about potty training in one day. She swore by this method and used it to train her daughter when she was around the same age as daughter is now (just over 2 years). Another friend potty trained her daughter when she was almost 2 with the naked bottoms for three days method. When comparing three days to one, I decided to go with one. I dove into the blog post, read through the comments and took mental notes of everything. One of the comments discussed the book that the one day method was kind of a modern hybrid of, and this book said it would take me EVEN LESS THAN ONE DAY so I was extra sold. The less time I have to do this, the better. I printed out the blog post, ordered the book and started to read/plan.
The things the Blog & Book said I would need:
A Potty Chair or Stool and Seat for the Big Potty
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| This is ours |
A "Doll that Wets" (much harder to find than you thought)
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| We already have a dog named Annie in the family, so we changed her name to Suzy. |
Training Panties
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| Gerber Brand was nice and thick |
Waterproof Pants Covers (for naps and nights)
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| We used for naps, still diapers for nights |
A "People Who Care" Chart
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| If by "chart" they mean printed photos of people who L likes to talk about, then I was spot on. |
A Variety of Beverages to Water Your Child
Sweet and Salty Foods to Stimulate Their Thirst
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| I got all of the "junk" food at Whole Foods. To make myself feel better. |
Special Treats (to be used as Rewards/Bribery)
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| Yes, this is a lame treat, but L loved it and it made me feel not as bad |
An Apron with a Pocket to Hold Special Treats
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| 32 Weeks Pregnant in an regular Apron is not this cute |
Something to Clean Up Accidents
Some Sort of Not Super Distracting Activity (This was my back up emergency plan and I picked blocks)
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| Under $20 at Target. Easy |
Kitchen Timer
Additional items I advise having after going through this process:
1. A strong marriage. Seriously. If you are going to go through this with your spouse you better like each other because it will be really easy not to when accidents happen on someone else's watch or potty training philosophies start being called into question. Lucky for me after one day alone I was so happy to have S there that I almost didn't care what he was doing.
2. A pillow to sit on in the bathroom. I didn't think about this until the next day.
3. Try to not be pregnant so you can have cocktails. After or maybe during if you need it. I think cocktails and potty training were really meant to be together. Sad for me....
4. A spare key hidden outside of your home (more on this later).
5. A good friend who you can text when things are getting ridiculous. Lucky for me I had two.
6. Bathroom mats that can be thrown in the washing machine.
7. An endless amount of patience or a pill (one that provides an endless amount of patience).
8. Someone who won't let you quit. A spouse, a friend, a parent.... someone to be your rock when your are ready to run to the store and buy a six month supply of diapers.
9. Take out. There is no way in hell you will want to cook dinner after day one. And probably not after day two. Spoiler alert... it took us more than one day.
10. Stain spray. For stains.
So this post is not about how to potty train. I am not qualified to really give that advice. Although I do find a lot of people who have not potty trained their child yet offer lots of advice to you when you embark on this journey. I wish them luck. A few people did say to me that L was too young or "so young" or things like that. I'll come back around to this later, but the truth is, she is capable and her pediatrician told me she was ready two months before I started trying. This is not a judgement. Honestly if I felt like I would have had a better opportunity later, I would have waited a little longer.
So D Day approached... I was doing my one on one day with L on Friday while S was still out of town for business. He was due back about 8pm that night. L woke up and we had a normal morning. I changed her diaper and made her a large and healthy breakfast since I was going to be feeding her juice, pop chips, peanut butter crackers, chocolate chip cookies, and other crap the rest of the day. Here is something food related: her breakfast consisted of whole wheat flax waffles, oatmeal, eggs, raspberries, and sliced banana. I wanted her to fill up as much as possible so I gave her a larger than normal breakfast with lots of variety.
After breakfast I got out all of my supplies and my notes. I turned on sesame street while I made myself a glass of tea and prepped the bathroom for my live in day. Then I got out L’s big girl panties and we had a chat about the potty. We got out Suzy the potty training doll. It was L’s job to teach Suzy how to use the potty. This is when she fell in love with Suzy and decided that it didn't matter if Suzy could potty or not, Suzy probably just needed a cuddle and a hug from her. Backfire. We taught Suzy anyway, then Suzy had her "accident" and we "practiced" going potty with her. More hugs and cuddles for Suzy.
Then we walked through the process with L. I was pumping her full of beverages at this point. On high rotation. She pulled her panties down, sat on the potty, went pee pee, we made a big deal, cleaned herself up, pulled up her panties (and big thanks to the book at this point) learned in one lesson how to lift the big potty lid, empty her little potty into the big potty, close the lid and flush. After the flush we had a big celebration, ate a cookie, and sat to talk some more about the potty and how this whole thing worked.
A HUGE part of the process from the book was learning through her acknowledgments that she was understanding the steps and what was going on. So you ask questions like "where do we pee pee?" and your child is supposed to point to or say "potty" and other things like that. You also ask them to check to make sure they are dry. Enter frustration number one. L is great at following directions, but as a tiny people pleaser, she would most like to tell you what you want to hear. When she isn't sure what you want to hear, she just repeats what you have said back to her. This is how my day was going:
me: "L, where do we go pee pee?"
L: "where do we go pee pee?" (shrugs shoulders, stares at me)
me: "we go pee pee in the potty, right? Where is the potty?"
L: "where is the potty?" (puts arms in air, looks around theatrically)
me: "L, you know where the potty is, can you tell mommy"
L: "tell mommy potty" (smiles)
me: "no L, show mommy where the potty is"
L: "L show mommy potty" (stares at me, nods, then smiles)
me: "L, do you have dry panties?"
L: "dry panties?"
me: "feel your panties, are they wet or are they dry?"
L: (looks at me) "wet or dry?"
me: (takes her hand to feel her behind) "Can you tell mommy if this is wet or dry?"
L: "tell mommy... wet or dry!" (smiles, nods head)
While sounding incredibly cute, this was actually insanely frustrating. Especially since we took time prior to training to learn all of these things, so I knew she knew. But moving on..... Time to sit on the potty again. Another #1 (how could she not at this point, I am literally FILLING her with juice) and she completes all of the steps after up to the flushing and I'm like, obviously she gets this. We have been in the bathroom for 2 hours. She looks around the bathroom and announces to me "L all done." I try to reason with her (reasoning with a toddler, clearly I am on a bad road here) and she loses it. I'm trying to stick to the book and I'm like "L we have to stay in the bathroom so we can potty like a big girl, blah blah etc blah" and she is all "NO, no potty" and makes for the door in a helpless fury and I cave and go for the blocks. This is when I start giving up on the book and going for the blog.
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| In the bathroom, hour three. |
Around this time I sent the following text to my friend:
"The. Worst. Thing. Ever. This. Hate. My. Life. Today."
I went for the blog philosophy again and got out the kitchen timer. She was apparently supposed to go every 15 to 20 minutes. Her beverage selection looked like this:
She held it.
I ran the bath, I put her hands in warm water, I tried every sleepover trick in the book aside from bra freezing. She held it. Then I sent this text:
"How has this child been sitting on the potty for an HOUR and not peed? Where is all of this juice going?"
After about an hour and a half I decided we were both hungry and could use some lunch. We head to the kitchen. I noticed there were a few little sugar ants near the door, so opened the back door to spray the walk. Then I heard L close the door behind me. No big deal. When I turned around to go back in, she had turned the lock. She doesn't know what turning the lock is. This was a first time experience for us. She stares at me through the french door and smiles. Hilarious. Pregnant, barefoot, wearing yoga pants, a white tee, and an apron (with snacks in the pockets) I head to the garage for the spare key. Too bad it isn't there.
I walk back to the door to contemplate my next move and not freak out. There is my child smiling at me with wet panties and a puddle of pee on the floor. I look at her, she looks at me and I hear her through the door... "mommy sad."
Hey, she finally got one right!
Obviously potty training is too much for one post, so I'll leave you with a cliff hanger... to recap, I'm outside barefoot with no phone and no key, but I am wearing a snappy apron filled with snacks. Landon is inside covered in pee. Could this day get any better?
-RT
Quick Link to Part Two
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