Angry Ben Folds Judged My Parenting and other things

I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving. We did. It is so much fun to watch Landon play with her cousins. We brought the kid's table back for the first time in YEARS. It was amazing. The rest of the weekend consisted of a surprise birthday/engagement party, S's bday, a 40th wedding anniversary, and extended cousin play days. IT WAS EXHAUSTING, but in the MOST fun, would do it all over again way. Not to brag or exaggerate, but my family is actually the best. Even though we never went on Family Double Dare, it's totally true. 

At one point in my life I thought this would be amazing. Now I understand that it would have been the opposite of amazing.

 So we were out to dinner in a grand conclusion to this amazing 4.5 day weekend and Landy was not really in an out to dinner mood. On the fifth day of her schedule being out of whack, I can't say I blame her. She's 19 months old after all. Being the anxious type of person that I am, my diaper bag is always filled with distractions. The final straw, the mother of all distractions, is the iPad. What if I told you we bought an iPad for our daughter? We didn't, but we kind of also did. I was flying solo with Landon to take her to her first bachelorette party and that's the occasion that made us pull the iPad trigger. S definitely uses it the most though, so I like to think it's for him. 

iPad Baby.

 Back to dinner. L doesn't want to read about pudgy puppies, she doesn't want to eat her snack, not into the pig book that feels like a real pig (or something), and just says no to sesame street youtube on my phone. Seeing as how I actually wanted myself and those around me to enjoy their dinners, I pulled out the iPad, hooked Landy up with Elmo's World, and we all ate our dinner in a nice, civilized fashion. When the food came the iPad went. When the food went the iPad came. All was right with the world. 

That is, until snarky, angry Ben Folds decided to very loudly talk about my iPad parenting decision. To be fair, S was involved in another conversation, so this is likely the first he is hearing about this. Some late 30s/ early 40s DB in super skinny jeans (do they make man jeggings?), converse sneakers, and hipster glasses leans over to say something to his friend about the fact that my child is watching sesame street at a restaurant. And I was like "Whoa angry Ben Folds type. Perhaps you have listened to "Brick" a few too many times and need to get more in the groove of "You Don't Know Me"." So yeah, I do maybe know some Ben Folds songs.....

"And then she gave her baby an iPad and I was all OMG, that is so lame." - angry Ben Folds

  Anyway, angry Ben Folds type proceeds to loudly tell the woman next to him about his killer parenting skillz and how he just doesn't believe in media for children as it is too overstimulating to their delicate psyche and distracts them from actual life. Seriously. SERIOUSLY? Yes. During this moment when I so wanted to go over and tell him to mind is own <enter expletive> business, I just locked eyes with him and with one penetrating look I'm pretty sure I told him to trip on his ironic converse all star laces, eat it and leave me, my child, and my iPad out of his dinner conversations. Shortly after, angry hipster skinny jeans Ben Folds man left. 

I'm not going to pretend that I don't judge other people, I'm probably judging someone right now (I'm looking at you Lindsay Lohan as Elizabeth Taylor). The thing is, I am not high and mighty enough to pretend that I know better for someone else when I know nothing about them or their life. And I'm certainly not going to discuss my judgements where they can obviously hear me. Seriously Ben Folds guy, get over yourself. I'm really glad that you can maintain your sanity and have dinner out with your children and not resort to some kind of distraction tactic. I'm sure your four year old is finishing up Les Mis just in time for the movie release, but judge me silently and move on. People like you drive me CRAZY! 

I needed to get that out of my system so we can move on to tomorrow when we'll get back to classy talk about shoving beer cans up a chicken's butt. While I am raising up the iPad, I'm going to tell you my top seven favorite apps for toddlers. Why seven? Because that's how many the writers workshop told me to post. Please enjoy.

1. Peekaboo Farm - This is number one because it stands the test of time. First app she really liked and still plays with it. 

2. Itsy Bitsy Spider - The version by Duck Duck Moose. BIG love. Easy for them to push all the little different options. 

3.  My Very First App - If you LOVE Eric Carle illustrations (Brown Bear What do you see, Polar Bear What do you hear?, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, etc) you will also love this app. It is another one that grows with them, but L is just now interested in it at 20 months. 

4. PBS Kids - Has great short videos of all of the awesome PBS shows. Curious George, Cat in the Hat, Sesame Street, Word World, etc. PBS Kids is THE BEST!

5. Doodle Buddy - For kids who like to doodle with their fingers. And adults.... who like to doodle with their fingers. 

6. Yo Gabba Gabba Free Dancing App - I don't get it. Landon does apparently. 

7. Pocket Frogs - Yet another App that I don't understand that Landy loves. She doesn't even play she just laughs while the frogs jump around. Kids. go figure.

In this crazy mixed up world there is a time and a place for everything. Except for super skinny jeans on a 40 year old dad. But hey, that's just my own personal judgement.

Stay Mellow... I'm working on it. 

- RT