Texas Red Beans Gone Wrong

Here's a red beans story gone wrong. While S ate these red beans all last week, I couldn't get through my first (and only) bowl. The problem is, in order to figure out what went wrong, I would need to make them again. It was likely one of three things. Let's explore this bad cooking experience in photos.

The quick soak process. No problems here. Brought the beans to a boil, let them set for a while, and came back in the afternoon to work on them. 

Additional ingredients, though I only used one jalapeno, because I didn't want it to be too spicy. That ended up backfiring. 

Chef's assistant works with the homemade popsicle maker in her sweats. It's never too early to introduce a nice, comfy pair of sweatpants.

Taking extra steps to reduce extra heat, I slice my jalapenos to remove the seeds and the membrane. This is where the majority of heat lies in a jalapeno. So mistake option 1 is that this jalapeno was freakishly hot. Like way beyond the realm of normal jalapeno hotness. 

Sliced andouille sausage. Option 2 is that this brand of andouille (I've never used it before) was incredibly spicy. While I don't think this was the reason, it is in the realm of possibilities. 

I put in some of the more rough chops of onion first, then added a finely chopped mixture of onion and jalapeno.

After removing the beans and giving them one last rinse, I put a little EV Olive Oil in the bottom of the heated pot and tossed in the onions, jalapeno, and garlic. After about five minutes I added the sausage. I cooked all of this over medium for about five - ten more minutes. Then poured in 4-6 cups of chicken stock. 

Here is where the last thing could have gone wrong. I use this fab cajun spice mix. It has always served me well and I rarely measure the amounts I use. It has black pepper AND cayenne pepper AND crushed red pepper. So over use of this (the likely culprit) is what could have made this hard for me to handle. I can't find this mix anymore, but if you have a good spice mix at the store, just read through the ingredients. And for the sake of all that is holy, measure it.

After I added the spices and the red beans (and made sure there was enough broth covering them to give everything room to cook down) I let everything cook for a couple of hours. I kept it on a low boil. Then I took a spoonful out to test.

And I was like "Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Is this too spicy?" But I like to see what I want to see so I told myself no. Besides, everything spicy can be fixed with bread. We keep this and other frozen bread selections in the freezer (frozen in the freezer... stickler for details). They come in handy a lot. Like when your red beans are too spicy for life. 

White rice in the still disappointing rice cooker and we were ready to go. And I was so sad. I wanted this. I wanted it bad. It wasn't happening for me.

I got about 1/3 of the way through my bowl and I just couldn't finish. It made me feel better that S did. And that he kept on eating it. It was really just too spicy for me to enjoy. We've got a few months of cold weather coming our way, so I'm sure after I get over the hurt to my cooking pride, I'll do red beans again. Then I'll come back to brag about it and tell you all how to do it the right way. With measuring spoons and things. Ugh. Following the rules. What a boring way to cook. 

-RT