Who knew this was going to be a three parter? Not me. BUT I felt like I needed to come back around to this after being kind of brutally honest about how awful it was and let you know how it is now (on day 12).
Here's where I am:
Was it awful?
Yes. But unless you think it's awesome to sit in the bathroom for a day or to watch your child constantly for a weekend with no pants, then it's just another necessary evil. Do you enjoy cleaning up pee and poo? If so, professional potty training could be for you. You will LOVE IT!
I could not be more honest when telling you that the first four days of potty training fall right behind infant reflux, crying it out and two year molars on my list of least favorite parenting experiences. The bonus of potty training is that I feel like we are both succeeding and it hasn't even been two weeks yet. My mistake... someone's clever marketing campaign convinced me this would take less than a day. Jerks.
Do I regret the timing?
No. I don't. In my last post I said that if I wouldn't have been pregnant I would have waited, but I completely take that back now. I think that you face difficulties with your children potty training no matter what age they are. They are just different difficulties. Some are the exact same. I think at her age, L is much more open to listening to me and taking my direction and that works for me. She really wants to use the potty because it makes me happy and that makes her happy. If only things could stay this way through the teenage years...
What is happening now?
On Sunday (day 10 since our bathroom boot camp) we didn't have a single accident all day, even during her nap. She was also into the routine of sitting on the potty this day and stopped fighting us. It became a natural part of her day. Yesterday we went to the zoo in the morning with our portable potty. She did an awesome job! This made me feel less like a prisoner to potty training. That was something I had a hard time with at first.
What worked for us?
Let's get this straight... I am the opposite of a potty training expert. I have NO idea what will work for you, BUT here are some things that really worked for us. I'll remember them next time around.
1. Consistency
We put on big girl panties and we did not look back. I think you can get away with diapers at naps and nights (we still do them at night) but going back and forth between diapers and panties (after you have made the choice to really train) seems confusing. We dropped swim diapers except in public pools. L was still confused about why she was getting a diaper at night, but we just let her know that when she goes to sleep, she wears a sleep diaper. She wasn't super satisfied with that answer, but I'm not ready to clean up night time messes yet.
We also tried to be consistent with our directions. The first week, if we told her she needed to go sit on the potty, she was going to sit on the potty. We had some knock down drag outs about it, but we wanted to get it through to her that if we asked her to sit on the potty she needed to go and try, or at least just listen to us and sit for the length of a song or to read a book. This part was trying for a few days when she would resist, but we would try and distract her with her favorite songs, etc. The point of this was so later (like even this week) she wouldn't fight us when we asked her to sit on the potty before we left the house or after we got back. If she sits down and goes it's a big bonus, but if she sits down for 20 seconds and says she doesn't have to go, then we listen to her and move on. She has to sit on the potty 1. after waking up 2. before her nap 3. after her nap 4. before her bath (after dinner) 5. after she brushes her teeth (right before bed). If we leave the house she has to sit on the potty before we leave and after we get back. Other than that, I just check in with her throughout the day and keep an eye on how long it has been since her last trip.
2. Staying Positive (when possible)
Sometimes it's not possible (like when I was locked out of the house) but if I ever got frustrated I tried to walk away. I wasn't perfect, but keeping everything positive really took the pressure off of her. This doesn't mean they are off the hook. When she has an accident L changes her own underwear and if there is a mess on the floor, she "helps" clean up. I say this within reason because there are certain messes that would just be made messier. But it's just a kind of matter of fact thing. We had an accident, so we have to help clean it up and next time, try to make it to the potty. The end. I think making accidents a non event wouldn't work for her, so we talk about it and have some actions she has to take associated with it.
3. Starting to Trust Her
This is for when the time is right. We have our set potty times, but at other times I will ask her if she needs to go to the potty and if she tells me she doesn't (almost every time), I listen to her. I also keep an eye on the clock, but she likes to feel like she has a little bit of control and this gives that to her. The difference is, when I think she needs to go, I tell her we are going to the potty. When I'm just checking in, I ask her if she needs to go.
4. Staying Flexible
Every day I'm learning something new about this process. She is still very impatient about waiting for number two, so I've pulled out all of the stops to get her to sit and wait when I know she needs to. Sometimes I let her pick a reward if she asks for one. A sticker, a dance party (so embarrassing please no one ever walk in on this), or a little piece of a treat. She woke up at 12:30am this morning to tell me she had to go potty. Why can't she do this at 10am.... I'm not really sure. But she did have to go and then she had to go straight back to bed. I know that the same things might not work every time, but knowing that is helpful for me. I think not knowing that potty training was going to be a process instead of a day long event was what really made it difficult for me in the beginning. Now, we go with the flow (or lack of flow).
My new favorite potty training items:
L is not excited about public toilets, but little bladders need to go a lot more often. This has been perfect! We used it prior as a seat for the big potty at our house (and still do) and take just the top to other houses for play dates and she uses it perfectly. The whole potty sets up easily and you have to carry a larger bag for a while, but it works for her so easily and THAT makes my life easier. I will withhold the photo I took of her using it in the zoo bathroom and in the back of the car. Stay classy future wedding slideshow.
If peace of mind came in a pack of underpants covers, it would look like this. We use them over her big girl panties during naps and even when her underwear was soaked, these kept it all contained and the bed was dry. For longer errand runs or the hour long drive to my parent's house, I put them on and don't have to stress about cleaning pee off of the carseat cover or her clothes or whatever else. These were life changing. And they have them at Target.
Think about those nice, thick burp cloths that had the trifold and then turn them into underwear. These are SO great. They absorb so much for accidents that it will keep your floor or the child's pants from being completely soaked. They might still be wet, but not AS wet. They are also supportive, but can stretch enough for L to pull them up and down. I got her the true size according to her weight and worried that I should have gone a size up for her ease of use, but they are perfect. It's a good transition and because they are heavy duty they can take all of the washing that comes along with this process. Target also carries these.
We use the generic HEB brand from our local grocery store, but these are a must for #2 and you aren't supposed to flush regular baby wipes (who knew?) so it will save your plumbing.
So here we are. Still working toward our end goal, but I can tell you I'm happy that we have gone through this. She was definitely ready and I think I was the hangup. After your child is ready, you should just take the time to figure out when you are. Because both of you need to be. I would say that you should pick a time when you feel blissfully happy with your child and your life, that way when everything goes downhill, you won't already be in a bad mood about it. But really, what do I know? So glad we are over the hump and moving along. So let's officially cut the crap.... This will be the last dedicated potty post. I am actually cooking this week. Rejoice!
Wave goodbye to all of this poop and pee!
Bye bye.
-RT
Part 1
Part 2
