Questions I ask Google: Lullaby Edition

It's a crazy Friday night so I thought I would ask Google a question. I like to do that from time to time, because Google knows things and I like things and knowledge. I just put L down for the night and had lullabies on my mind and I thought... why is Rock-a-bye Baby SO insanely scary. Hello my child, let me soothe you to sleep with a story about a baby resting in a cradle that was hung on a tree branch. The wind is softly rocking the baby back and forth... so soothing. BUT WAIT, the wind is picking up. It's getting dangerous. All of the sudden the branch breaks causing the baby (and subsequently the cradle) to fall to the ground. Now rest up! 

Watch the f out baby. Bad things are about to happen!

 Key facts:

1. Origins seem to be with Mother Goose (that evil fowl) in 1765

2. The earliest recorded version of the words in print appeared with a footnote, "This may serve as a warning to the Proud and Ambitious, who climb so high that they generally fall at last."

And then there are about 5 other possible answers that may or may not be correct. Wikipedia doesn't pick favorites. Some have to do with a hidden political reference to the Stuart heir in England and the protestant reformation. SO smart right now. The one that I think makes the most sense is that it was more of a nursery rhyme (a la "ring around the rosy") that was used in a game where you would toss a child "about" and then have them pretend fall at the end. I think I like that one best because it's easy and semi friendly. My kind of theory. 

For more useless and random information about Rock-a-bye Baby, click here.  For the record, I started writing this post before I discovered the answer to my question and I am slightly disappointed that it is not more dramatic and juicy.

-RT

A Whole New Kind of Party Hangover

Why is Two so Awesome? Because running in circles in the driveway is currently the best. The resulting fall? Not so cool.

It's official, we have a two year old. I feel that L really tried to make this official multiple times starting as early as 16 months, but really driving the point home around 20 months or so. We get it sweetheart, you're two. It is terrifying and hilarious and only terrible at times. Mostly it's hilarious. Hilarious Twos doesn't really sound as good though. The internet apparently is there for you if you are having a terrible time with the twos. Just google terrible twos and see how many helpful books and articles pop up. Internet parenting... it's the new TV parenting. Most books want to help you turn the terrible twos into the "terrific twos" and I'm kind of skeptical.. because I don't know if I've ever wanted to do anything labeled as "terrific".... Show me a book with a cute kid on the front that says "How to Have an Awesome Time with Your Two Year Old" and I'm buying one for all of us. A "terrific" time probably involves crafts that I am not crafty enough for and houses that are too clean. And for the sake of toddlers, don't put a damn screaming toddler on a toddler help book. I thought this would be common sense.

PUT A SMILING CHILD ON YOUR BOOK! You're welcome.

But let's stop talking about books I am never going to read. I prefer a trial and error approach and on bad days, I just take things one hour at a time. That and a little PBS kids seems to be the cure for any terrible two moments I can intercept. So let's talk about hangovers... it's been a while.

Before anyone calls social services, I am not having any alcohol related hangovers, this is a brand new kind of hangover. You thought that three day bender in New Orleans for Jazz Fest really left you in a bind with your French Quarter Cough and inability to work simple addiction? Yeah, that was fun and everything, but I am currently in recovery from the second birthday celebrations that sucked the life force out of me leaving a Becky shell filled with allergies and lots of saline spray. This morning (2 days post party) I laid in bed breathing through one nostril wondering if it was in any way possible to call in sick to life. It seems to be much more complicated when there is a child involved. Then I couldn't figure out who exactly I would call. 2 minutes later I was getting a good morning kiss from a milk cup wielding toddler who wanted to see what Curious George was up to. Not the worst way to get up in the morning. This would be part of the awesome twos. 

The house is still a mess, but the back yard is clean! I took the last bit of sugar filled bday treats to the office today and it will be sad tonight without a giant cupcake, but the tiny baby boy who is hanging out with me for the next 14 weeks or so will super appreciate this. I day dream about a time when I could decide that my daily activity would be catching up on an entire season of anything while staying in bed and only getting up to answer the door when the takeout arrived. But I really just want one of those days and I'll trade the season catch up for a kindle but I'm sticking with the takeout. 

What I failed to realize is that the bonus that should be included with a toddler birthday party is an entire day of bed rest accompanied by a cleaning crew. I'm into that. In a different scenario (the one where I am not pregnant) I would host a brunch in my dirty house the day after the birthday celebrations. I would supply some sort of breakfast (like tacos or egg mcmuffins) and plenty of champagne breakfast drinks and we could all clean my house together. Right? Couldn't we? Because there is always next year and maybe the theme of that party will be "Terrific and Tidy Three!" Bring your mops and brooms kids, because this party is going to get real. Real Terrific.

Here's a quick party recap and a good tip for future parent bday party picture takers. Following your child around taking pictures trying to "capture the magic" will only lead to about 40 pictures of the party featuring the back of your child's head. Also the side of the head and the top of the head. 

Unintended party attraction: Our illustrious cat, Senor don Gato.

Apparently "cake please" translates to "frosting NOW!"

Back for more concentrating on chocolate chip consumption and remaining frosting.

Making evil terrible two plans to dominate the world... and eat more cupcakes.

So call me crazy (most of you might have done this already) but I'm really excited about two. The last few weeks have definitely tested my patience and my sanity, and I see that there will be much more of that ahead. But it also seems that as the challenges get a little more challenging the rewards get much more rewarding. This amazing little personality is coming out. And sometimes that little personality has to go sit in time out for two minutes, but the rest is pretty hilarious. From what I have figured out so far, having a sense of humor about parenting is the way to go. A sense of humor and a really good first aid kit. For every ten minute long melt down (I swear it was at least 30 minutes long) at the grocery store because you have to ride in the green car and not the red car (this really happened yesterday) a couple of hours later you get to watch your daughter pushing her doll in a swing and giving it a blanket to "keep baby warm" while she chats with two dolls at the back door.  

Babysitting

Most party hangovers are the result of a great night or at least a few good stories... and my two year old birthday party hangover is no different. It is the result of a little stress, a messy house, a run down immune system, and more than enough fun to make it totally worth it. 

-RT