I have done a lot of fad dieting in my life... at one point I was a really smelly expert on the Cabbage Soup Diet. I actually liked the soup the first 4 days and worked hard to not vomit it up the last 3. After so many rounds of cabbage soup, just typing the name makes me want to gag.
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| Look familiar? I can smell you from here. |
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Before cabbage soup the real metabolife was legal (the kind with the heart attack drug, ephedra, in it) and I stayed fit by being too busy to eat that much. Oh metabolife... thanks for all that focus in class and the straight A's senior year.
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| Buy Ephedra... never sleep again! |
Post cabbage soup was the second half of college and the cult following of the Atkins diet, followed by the South Beach revolution. In retrospect, even if you are losing weight, you really shouldn't be eating bacon covered in melted cheese for every meal. (You know who you are, and I'm looking right at YOU).
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| If any vegetarians were thinking about reading my blog, they just left. |
Where are we... OH, yes, the Hollywood juice diet you bought at drug stores. It came in a bottle and told you you could lose up to 10 pounds in 48 hours*. Then it didn't tell you that once you started eating solid food again you would put on 15lbs of bloat. I stopped fad dieting partially due to ridicule from my husband and partially because I COULD NOT do the lemon water, cayenne pepper, maple syrup Beyonce for Dream Girls diet. It was just too much. I believe in cleanses, but that was BEYOND. It was fasting.
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| Here is my apology for saying anything bad about Bey. But really, this was disgusting. |
So I took on the favorite annoying credo that people say and tried to start eating healthy for life. It did work out well. All of the weight that was always back and forth all of the sudden stabilized and although I still feel like I always have 5lbs to lose, I FEEL better. I don't feel like I'm starving myself or like I never get to eat what want. And I could be healthier, but that's fine. I would rather drink wine and have chocolate chip cookies and feel satisfied.
Now I want to talk about how much I love food. I love food. I love it so much I categorize it so I know how best to eat it. I don't have some filing system for food, this is mental categories. Also, I'm crazy, but whatever. Here are the categories:
HEALTHY for real: this is for vegetables and lettuces and things. Like you could literally eat your face off with these things when they are steamed or raw or boiled and actually lose weight. I also count certain proteins in here when prepared the healthiest way. Like steamed fish or other healthy sounding preparation ways.
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| Healthy for real. |
Healthy Healthy: I put fruits into the healthy healthy category because they are really good for you, and you should definitely eat a lot of them, but some fruits just taste too good to be trusted. I'm not saying to ever not eat fruit, what I'm saying is when I am shoving an entire large mango into my mouth, I could just be eating raw spinach, so I could be healthier. Also in this category are the delicious non veggie vegetables: corn, potatoes, and any other vegetable that tastes a little too good. And your usual suspect lean meats, chicken breasts, fishes, pork, and Bambi. I also put triscuits in here because they have three ingredients and for health I would rather binge on them than lose a fat battle to a box of oreos.
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| Here is a giant mango for you to enjoy. |
Healthier OPTION: I love this category. These are foods that might not be good for you, but they are better for you than what you could have eaten. I don't really believe in grains (although I eat enough of them) so my favs brown rice and whole wheat pasta go here. Because I really eat too much per serving for them to be healthy healthy. Also here is pretty much any casserole or recipe from cooking light. Because really those delish meals are just a substitute for the biscuits and honey covered in egg yolk that I was going to shove into my mouth. If I have ice cream after dinner you might consider this a "treat" (see below) but really it's a healthier option because it has less calories than the two large glasses of wine that I sacrificed to eat the ice cream. My peanut covered ice cream drumstick is a healthier OPTION. See where this is going? Most foods fit into this category.
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| Chicken tamale casserole from Cooking Light. See the salad, that's so health right there. |
Treats: I love treats. Potato salad, grilled corn and blue cheese salad, have you ever realized how many unhealthy things have the word "salad" after them? Dinner out is a treat all around. I mean seriously, I don't care what the biggest loser tries to tell you, who goes out to a nice meal and then tells the waiter to tell the chef how to boil their meat with no oil or seasoning and then steam their vegetables? Come to my house. I'll make that for you where it is supposed to be eaten... at a house. You should try to eat healthiest in every day life. Dinner out is a treat. It's something that you do every once and a while. Not a daily or even weekly part of your diet. Tortilla chips with a really amazing and fattening dip = treat. Fried chicken = treat. Chocolate Sheet Cake = treat. Greasy Cheese Enchiladas from Spanish Village = the best treat ever. And so on.
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| These are the real life Spanish Village Enchiladas. Now pass the margaritas. |
Chemicals: I do enjoy chemicals every now and then, and I feel it's better to recognize them for what they are. Chemicals are things like skittles, cheesy/ranch/almost any Doritos, well really packaged chips in general, candy with color dye in it, squeeze cheese, cokes and most sodas, the cookies from the store with the fluffy frosting that taste like cupcakes.... best chemicals ever! Chemicals are good, but you have to see them for what they are. They shouldn't be a part of your every day diet.
Needed to Survive: These fall into the categories above at times, but if I want them bad enough, I do it... because I have to. I need these things. I also have a rotating spot on my need to survive that is my obsession of the moment. Right now it is ice cream drumsticks. Tonight I had figs and honey for dessert instead. It was really hard. Needed to survive: Most melty chocolate chip cookies, homemade bread and butter, gin and tonic in the summer time, champagne any time, peanut butter, and cheese.
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| Doesn't everyone carry this wherever they go? |
Maybe blogging is about exposing my crazy to the internet. Someone else please tell me you categorize your food and then send me your categories.
-RT